Good morning. And a happy Saint Patrick’s Day to you! Let’s all raise a glass today for the incredibly named John Heavy, who on October 16, 1817, brought Guinness beer to America.

Also: the Guinness Book of World Records was started in 1951 by a man with an even better name, Sir Hugh Beaver, the managing director of Guinness Breweries at the time.

Here’s to you, Heavy and Beaver, we appreciate you both.

And now, THE NEWS.

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 4.72 minutes to read.

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.”

–Sun Tzu (544 B.C. – 496 B.C.)

In yesterday's Around the World section (and after a rousing internal discussion that apparently confused us all), we mistakenly said Dubai is the capital city of Saudi Arabia instead of the United Arab Emirates. 

This is the 39th correction out of the 294 newsletters we’ve published since January 2022.

Adding AI to your platform has become the hottest new craze in Silicon Valley. Everyone from Google to Microsoft to even Amazon (with AWS) are all doing it.

Well, almost everyone. Notably absent from the headlines has been one of the most innovative companies in the world: Apple. Which begs the question: why? 

According to a NY Times report published earlier this week, the answer may be coming from inside the Cupertino-building: Apple’s very own Siri.

🤿 A deeper dive... Like Amazon Alexa and Google Assistant, Siri is a “command-and-control” system. Which basically means it's limited to answering the questions programmed into its “brain.” Ask it something outside of that code, and it will say it cannot help.

The AI-enhanced tools of today (i.e., GPT-4), on the other hand, are powered by large language models (LLM). Meaning they’re trained on massive amounts of text so that when you ask a question, the chatbot sees how a question like that has been answered in the past and acts accordingly.

• According to one Apple engineer, Siri’s “clunky code” means that even basic updates can take weeks to go through.
• Plus, since Siri’s so deeply integrated into iOS, Apple may not feel confident updating Siri’s codebase with an LLM.

But don’t count the world’s largest tech company out just yet. Last month, Apple held an AI-focused event in Cupertino, and the Siri team is “testing language concepts” weekly.

🤔 Yes, but… should they? For all of its ability to enhance productivity and creativity, AI chatbots still have a whole slew of issues – from threatening users, to having existential crises, to even falling in love with a NY Times reporter and then trying to ruin his marriage.

🤖📈 Zoom out: Despite its faults, AI chatbot projects across the tech industry are like a juicy rumor in middle school – spreading fast. Earlier this week, both Google and Microsoft announced they’ll be integrating AI into their suite of work-focused tools (Gmail and Google Docs on Google’s side, and with Word, Powerpoint, Excel, and Outlook for Microsoft).

📊 Flash poll: In your opinion, AI chatbots will ultimately have a ____ impact on society.

Good

Mostly good

Neutral/zero-sum

Mostly bad

Bad

Unsure/other

🇫🇷 French protesters showed out across the country yesterday (some clashing with police), after President Emmanuel Macron invoked special powers to raise the country's retirement age. The move, which bypassed the need for approval from France’s Parliament, officially raises the minimum age at which citizens can receive a full government pension from 62 to 64. Despite a series of million-plus-person protests in recent weeks against raising the retirement age, Macron, who's 10 months into his second five-year term, has consistently argued the move is necessary to keep the pension system financially viable.

🌎❄️ Forget letting it go – Queen Elsa's evil twin sister has been letting it snow. Global cocaine production is currently at its highest level on record, per the UN. The organization’s annual Global Report on Cocaine found worldwide production of the drug rose 35% between 2021 and 2022, largely due to demand rebounding from pandemic lows. Overall, cocaine production around the world has more than doubled since 2013, which UN officials attribute to South American cartels’ improved efficiency at extracting the white powder from coca leaves.

🇦🇷 Annual inflation in Argentina surpassed 100% last month for the first time since 1991, per new data published this week. Though the country is no stranger to high inflation: Argentina has seen inflation rates near or above 50% dating back to mid-2019, and its current rate of 102.5% is nearly two times higher than any other country in the world. This can be attributed to a number of factors, including the central bank printing more money and a large heat wave/drought that destroyed crops and livestock. A local report published this week found more than 75% of Argentinians currently have sleeping problems, with nearly half of them blaming the economy.

+Update: The Pentagon yesterday released footage from a downed US military drone that shows two Russian fighter jets dumping fuel on it over the Black Sea.

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In 2021, the maternal death rate in the US rose 40% over the previous year to reach a nearly six-decade high, according to new federal data published yesterday by the National Center for Health Statistics.

🔢 By the numbers… A total of 1,205 US women died during pregnancy or shortly after giving birth in 2021, representing an overall maternal death rate of 33 per 100,000 live births. That’s up from 24/100,000 the previous year, and the highest rate since 1965.

• The latest federal data also revealed stark racial disparities. In 2021, the maternal mortality rate for Black women in the US (70 deaths per 100,000 live births) was more than twice as high as white women (27) or Hispanic women (28).

🤔 What’s behind the sudden increase?… While the report itself didn’t discuss any potential explanations, many health experts say the significant jump in maternal deaths between 2020 and 2021 was very likely due to two main reasons: 1) Covid, and 2) widespread disruptions to medical services stemming from the pandemic.

🌎 Big picture: After maternal death rates rose 78% in the US between 2000 and 2020 while dropping in nearly every other country, America is now the most dangerous place to give birth among all high-income nations. (It’s also the most expensive, too.)

Buzzer beaters, epic comebacks, historic upsets, and dominating performances – March Madness is officially back🥳. The first round of the men’s tournament officially tipped off yesterday, and wouldn’t ya know it, each of the previously mentioned examples ended up happening irl.

• No. 13-seed Furman secured its first tourney win in almost 50 years thanks to a last-second shot, narrowly upsetting fourth-seeded Virginia by a score of 68-67.
• Princeton (#15-seed) scored the final nine points of the game to upset No. 2-seeded Arizona 59-55; it was Princeton’s first NCAA tourney win since 1998, and the Ivy League’s first since 2016.
• No. 1 Alabama, No. 1 Kansas, and No. 5 Duke (the tallest team in this year’s tournament, with an average height of 6 feet and 7.3 inches) all cruised to more than 20-point victories. See the rest of the results.

👀 Looking ahead… The second round of the Men’s NCAA tournament takes place tomorrow and Sunday. On the women’s side, the first round will be held today and tomorrow, while the second round is on Sunday and Monday (full bracket).

+BONUS: Three March Madness fun facts that’ll make your friends think you actually care about basketball:

1. US companies will lose an estimated $16.3 billion this year due to their employees being distracted by March Madness, per new data from Wallethub. On a related note, 37% of US employees are willing to call in sick or skip work to watch the tournament.
2. It’s easier to win back-to-back Powerball lotteries with a single ticket than it is to predict a perfect bracket (assuming each game is a coin flip).
3. Americans will wager a collective $10+ billion on March Madness this year, with ~40% of that total comprised of illegal bets – a category that technically includes bracket pools.

💬 Quoted… "I can reassure the members of the committee that our banking system is sound, and that Americans can feel confident that their deposits will be there when they need them.”

Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen appeared before the US Senate Finance Committee yesterday, making her first public comments since this weekend’s emergency measures to ensure no depositors at the defunct Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank suffered losses. Though when it comes to uninsured deposits (aka anything above $250,000), that appears to be a special case: "A bank only gets that treatment," she told US Republican Senator James Lankford, if supermajorities of the boards of the Federal Reserve, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp and "I, in consultation with the president, determine that the failure to protect uninsured depositors would create systemic risk and significant economic and financial consequences," Reuters reports.

• On a separate note: a group of eleven banks yesterday agreed to deposit $30 billion into First Republic Bank, whose stock had dropped more than 80% in the seven days preceding yesterday (it closed ~10% higher following the deposit news).

🎓 Stat of the Day: Over the past decade, US college enrollment has declined by about 15%, while the number of apprentices at companies has increased by more than 50%, per federal data and Robert Lerman, a labor economist at the Urban Institute and co-founder of Apprenticeships for America.

🤯 Did You Know?... Babies have around 30,000 taste buds, while adults only have 10,000.

📖 Worth a Read: A Growing Number of Scientists Are Convinced the Future Influences the Past → (Motherboard)

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• ☝️ David Anderson, a regular visitor at Arkansas’ Crater of Diamonds State Park, recently discovered a 3.29-carat brown diamond that’s the largest such discovery in nearly two years.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

• 💰 US markets closed up across the board yesterday (S&P: +1.8%; Dow: +1.2%; Nasdaq: +2.5%).
• 🥣 Kellogg announced it would split the company into two last June; today, the company unveiled the two names: Kellanova and WK Kellogg Co.
• 💸 FTX has transferred a total of ~$2.2 billion to former CEO Sam Bankman-Fried through companies he controlled, the bankrupt crypto exchange’s new management said yesterday.

SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• 🦸 Shazam! Fury of the Gods opens in theaters across the country today.
• 🎤 Taylor Swift dropped four previously unreleased songs at midnight.
• 🤖 Microsoft made its GPT-4 Bing search engine available to the public yesterday.

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SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

• 🤖 The US Copyright Office issued new guidance yesterday that says AI-generated images based on text prompts can’t be copyrighted.
• 🪐🌋 Astronomers discovered the first direct evidence that not all of Venus’ volcanoes are dormant just yet, per a peer-reviewed study published Wednesday in Science.
• 🏔️ Remnants of a modern glacier were recently discovered near Mars' equator, suggesting ice may still exist at shallow depths in the area, per a new study shared Wednesday at the 54th Lunar and Planetary Science Conference.

EVERYTHING ELSE

• 💧 Southern California officials lifted drought-induced water restrictions for nearly 7 million residents yesterday due to the historic amounts of rain and snow so far this year.
• 🌿🌊 A 5,000-mile-long blob of seaweed known as the great Atlantic Sargassum belt – which measures twice as long as the entire continental US – is expected to come ashore in Florida and elsewhere along the Gulf of Mexico over the next few months.
• 🏫 The state of Texas on Wednesday announced a takeover of Houston's school district, which is the eight-largest in the country; officials said the previous leaders failed to improve poor student performance at some schools, though critics of the move argued that state interventions in schools are rarely successful. (From the Left | From the Center | From the Right)

CLICKBAIT

• 🤼‍♂️ US presidents depicted as wrestlers.

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It’s a bird, it’s a plane – no wait, it’s the DONUT’s weekly news quiz.

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The Chester Zoo is trailblazing the way for species conservation, after welcoming multiple babies belonging to endangered species in recent years.

🍼 Baby boom… The zoo hopes to preserve endangered animals – such as the tree kangaroo and one-horned rhino – for years to come.

• "[The world] is losing species at a phenomenal rate,” said Mark Brayshaw, the zoo’s curator of mammals. “It’s really important that we save species wherever we can.”

Below are three lists of ingredients. All you have to do is give us the completed dish they make.

☝️ Recipe #1:

• Eggs
• Light brown sugar
• Greek yogurt
• Canola oil
• Zucchini
• Vanilla extract
• Salt
• Flour
• Cocoa powder
• Baking powder
• Chocolate chips

✌️ Recipe 2:

• Cabbage
• Juniper berries
• Caraway seeds
• Mustar seeds
• Pickling salt
• Water

3️⃣ Recipe 3:

• Onion
• Carrot
• Celery stalk
• Garlic
• Butter
• Flour
• Chicken or vegetable broth
• Milk
• Salt & pepper
• Broccoli
• Sharp cheddar
• Parmesan

(keep scrolling for the answers)

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☝️ Recipe #1: Chocolate zucchini bread

✌️ Recipe 2: Homemade German sauerkraut

3️⃣ Recipe 3: Broccoli cheddar soup

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***The Parallel Flight sponsor block was written and/or published as a collaboration between The DONUT's in-house sponsored content team and a financial partner of The DONUT. Although the piece is not and should not be construed as editorial content, the sponsored content team works to ensure that any and all information contained within is true and accurate to the best of their knowledge and research. The DONUT may receive monetary compensation from the issuer, or its agency, for publicizing the offering of the issuer’s securities. This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be investing advice. This is a paid ad. Please see 17(b) disclosure linked in the campaign page for more information.