Good morning and welcome to Tuesday. As we all know, the past few years have been a little rough.

• 2020: We need no reminder.
• 2021: At least… *Sigh.*
• 2022: Russia invaded Ukraine, inflation is still at historic highs, and March broke the US record for most tornadoes in a single month.

Not the greatest stretch. But just like the Mighty Ducks, never count the world out: it’s due for a glow-up.

P.S. Happy National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day! (See? Looking up already.)

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 4.03 minutes to read.

"An action committed in anger is an action doomed to failure."

–Genghis Khan (1162-1227)

More than 100 Pakistani lawmakers loyal to ousted PM Imran Khan resigned on Monday, just ahead of a Parliamentary vote electing opposition leader Shehbaz Sharif to lead the country in his absence.

🇵🇰 Background: Khan, a former cricket star elected in 2018, was removed from his position early Sunday after losing a no-confidence vote in Parliament.

• He had tried to sidestep the removal by dissolving Parliament before they could hold the vote, but his attempt was struck down by Pakistan’s Supreme Court last week.
• Hundreds of thousands of Khan supporters – largely youths – gathered to protest against his removal late Sunday, according to the AP, with many accusing the US of colluding to oust the former PM. (The State Department has denied any involvement.)

👀 Looking ahead… New PM Shehbaz Sharif, the younger brother of disgraced former PM Nawaz Sharif, unveiled a “raft of populist measures” in a speech after taking office yesterday, per Bloomberg, including raising the minimum wage and increasing civil service pensions.

• He also said his government will speed up construction of the $60 billion China-Pakistan Economic Corridor, a part of President Xi Jinping’s multi-trillion-dollar Belt and Road Initiative.

+The streak continues: In the 75-year history of Pakistan, no elected PM has ever completed their full five years in office.

Fortnite-maker Epic Games announced a $2 billion funding round yesterday. The deal is split 50-50 between Sony and a group operated by the founders of Lego, and values the game maker at $31.5 billion.

🎮💰 A deeper dive...

• This round represents the largest investment in the gaming space dating back to 2002, per research firm PitchBook; the previous three largest investments were also in Epic (including a $1 billion round last year valuing it at $28.7 billion).
• In a statement, the video game developer said the new funds will be used “to advance the company’s vision to build the metaverse and support its continued growth.”
• The investment comes days after Epic announced a partnership with Lego to build a metaverse “made for kids and families,” though further details were scarce.

🤝 Zoom out: The market for videogame companies is currently hotter than a Texas summer. One recent example: Microsoft agreed to the largest acquisition in gaming history in January, buying Call of Duty-maker Activision Blizzard for $69 billion.

• And the suitors aren't just software companies, either. Netflix acquired its first video game studio last September, globally launched its first game in November, and then purchased two more video game studios last month.

Lab-grown meat startup Primeval Foods announced plans to hold upcoming tasting events in NYC and London featuring a variety of exotic offerings, including the world’s first cultivated lion meat.

🥩 A deeper dive... So far, most cultivated (i.e., lab-grown) meat companies have focused on the biggest categories: beef, chicken and pork. 

• But Primeval is betting there will also be a market for more unconventional dishes like leopard burgers, Siberian tiger tacos, and zebra sushi rolls.
• Once its products gain regulatory approval, the company said it’ll start by offering samples to Michelin-starred restaurants in London, with further plans to expand on a larger scale.

💰 Zoom out: Investors have poured ~$2 billion into cultivated meat projects over the past two years, according to Crunchbase data.

• The idea behind the push is that growing meat in a lab eliminates the need to farm animals for food, which would help reduce the nearly 15% share of global greenhouse gas emissions attributed to livestock.

✋ Yes, but… Since lab-grown meat is not yet produced on an industrial scale, there’s still uncertainty over whether it’ll actually end up helping the environment. And sales of cultivated meat in the US have cooled off recently, dropping 0.5% in 2021 after reporting a 46% increase the previous year.

Can you see what’s wrong here? Something that isn’t adding up?

🐸🦵 Look at those legs!… those aren’t pro cycling legs! Cyclists have legs that are strong, toned and pretty impressive. Not skinny little frog legs.

But whether you have cycling legs or Kermit legs, finding proper-fitting jeans can be tough. And spending money on jeans that don't look or feel right is even more frustrating. 😬

👖 Luckily, unspun jeans are guaranteed to fit you perfectly, regardless of your body type.

⚙️ How it works…

• Shop - design your perfect pair. Custom select your fit, fabric, waist rise, and more.
• Scan - take a quick 3D body scan through their iPhone app.
• Wear - your perfect fit. Guaranteed. 🙌

🎓 Educate yourself… not sure what you want in a pair of jeans? Use this Denim Guide and take the Fit Quiz to find out. 👍

With unspun, if you don’t like the jeans, they’ll fix them for free or give you a full refund.

In other words, their jeans will befit you, no matter what, whether you race or ride through the park. 🚵🏃

➡️ Click here to skip the waiting list and get 20% off!

We’ve all gone through the process at least once. And retailers are like our grad-school friends – they’ve gone through the process a lot.

In fact, retailers expect more than $761 billion in merchandise sold last year to be returned by consumers, according to a recent report from the National Retail Federation and Appriss Retail. For context, the US spent $741 billion on national defense in 2021.

↩️ 📦 By the numbers… When combining online and in-store sales, 16.6% of all items bought last year were returned, up from 10.6% in 2020.

• The three categories with the highest return rates were auto parts (19.4 percent), apparel (12.2 percent) and home improvement and housewares (tied at 11.5 percent).
• ~21% of all online purchases were returned last year, about in-line with 2020.
• For every $100 in returned merchandise accepted, retailers lose $10.30 to return fraud.

📸 The big picture: Once the unwanted item leaves your hands or house forever, the company receiving it traditionally has three options: SITT (straight-into-the-trash), BIBBI (burn it, baby, burn it), or SELL it on the $688 billion secondhand market.

• On the consumer side, a 2018 survey found 96% of online shoppers would come back to a retailer if they had a good returns experience. 69% were deterred from buying if they knew they’d have to pay for return shipping.

• ☝️ The reviews for Nintendo Switch Sports, the successor to Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort, are out; the game’s release is scheduled for April 29.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

• 🍔 DoorDash is adding a new cheaper subscription plan called DashPass for Students; it costs $4.99 per month.
• 🔐 Private-equity firm Thoma Bravo agreed to buy back US cybersecurity firm SailPoint Technologies for $6.9 billion; Thoma Bravo previously bought SailPoint in 2014 for an undisclosed amount, then took it public in 2017.
• 📉🚘 Wholesale prices for used vehicles – adjusted for age and mileage – have declined 5.4% since January.

SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• 🏀 The LA Lakers fired head coach Frank Vogel after missing the playoffs and finishing with a 33-49 record this past season; Vogel won a championship with the team in 2020.
• 🧪 Science, b*tch!: Jesse Pinkman and Walter White – played by Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston – will appear in the final season of Breaking Bad spinoff Better Call Saul.
• ⚾ Mark Lerner, the managing principal owner of the MLB's Washington Nationals, told WaPo that his family is exploring selling the team.
• 🦇 The Batman will debut on HBO Max this upcoming Monday.

SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

• ☀️🔋🪙 Blockstream, Block, and Tesla are teaming up to build a solar- and battery-powered bitcoin mine in Texas to prove that bitcoin mining can be done sustainably.
• 🪐 Neptune has been experiencing an unexplained temperature shift dating back to 2003, according to a peer-reviewed study published yesterday.

EVERYTHING ELSE

• 🇺🇦 Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky said yesterday that tens of thousands of Russian troops are planning an imminent attack on eastern Ukraine in a virtual speech to South Korean lawmakers.
• 😷 Philadelphia is reinstating its citywide mask mandate beginning next Monday due to a rise in Covid cases. (From the Left | From the Right)
• 🏛️ President Biden announced his nominee to head the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives; he also unveiled new regulations to limit the distribution of “ghost guns,” aka weapons without serial numbers made using DIY kits. (From the Left | From the Right)

💬 Quoted… "There was a plan from the highest levels of the Russian government."

• National security adviser Jake Sullivan said US intelligence declassified before Russia’s invasion indicated that Moscow planned from the beginning to “brutalize” Ukrainian civilians who opposed the war.

🛍️ Stats of the Day: More than 14,000 Etsy sellers went on strike yesterday over the company raising its transaction fees from 5% to 6.5%; Etsy’s marketplace features 5.3 million active sellers.

🤯 Did You Know?... In the 1990s, the New Jersey Nets asked the NBA to change their name to the Swamp Dragons.

• Owners voted 26-1 to approve the new name – but the lone dissenting vote came from the Nets themselves, who had a change of heart. The proposal was eventually scrapped.

📖 Worth a Read: Is Swearing at Work Acceptable Now? → (WSJ)

👆 You're looking at Quinn Dombrowski, an academic technology specialist at Stanford University who's spearheading the effort to preserve Ukraine's culture digitally. 

• For context, some of Ukraine's websites have started to go offline as the servers hosting them lose connections or are destroyed in attacks.

🌐 And that's where Quinn comes in... Along with around 1,300 other librarians and archivists who are racing the clock to save the country's cultural history and heritage. How? By backing up as much as they can to external hard drives and software. 

• "We really hope that [the archive] is not used," Quinn shared.
• "Nothing would make us happier than for all of these sites to remain safe... That said, if sites are destroyed, at least the way the site used to look is captured as an experience." 

Can you name the team with the most all-time championships across each of the major US sports leagues? 

🏈 NFL:

⚾ MLB:

🏀 NBA:

🏒 NHL:

(keep scrolling for the answers)

Check out our referral prizes you can get just for introducing people you know to this newsletter. 👇

Here’s your unique link to copy & send to anyone you think would like the DONUT:

🏈 NFL: Green Bay Packers

⚾ MLB: New York Yankees

🏀 NBA: Boston Celtics

🏒 NHL: Montreal Canadiens