Good morning. Science has always been drawn to answering life’s greatest questions. How did life on Earth begin? What the heck is gravity? What is consciousness?

But these are all child’s play compared to the problem they faced last year. Yes, we’re talking about humankind’s greatest mystery:

How do you twist an Oreo so BOTH wafers end up with that delicious filling on them?

From Galileo (nicknamed “Galiloreo”) to Niels Bohr (nicknamed “Bohreo”), science’s greatest minds have tried and failed to solve this edible enigma – until now. A group of MIT scientists recently embarked on a voyage that would change not only their lives, but the lives of every Oreo lover in the world.

What did they find? That no matter how fast or slow you twist, the filling stays on one side about 80% of the time. Which means – and this is science talking – the filling is stronger than it is sticky.

We don’t get what it means either, but hey, mystery (sorta) solved. Let’s NEWS!

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 4.87 minutes to read.

“It's much better to do good in a way that no one knows anything about it.”

–Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

Yesterday, the Federal Reserve’s policy-making committee unanimously voted to serve the US a McQuarter-pointer, raising interest rates by 0.25%. It’s the ninth consecutive time the Fed has voted to raise baseline interest rates, marking its most aggressive pace of monetary policy tightening since the early 1980s (the last time inflation was this high).

Interest rates are now set at a range between 4.75% and 5.0%. That’s their highest level since 2007, and up from near-zero as recently as last March. The pace of which, like the Beatles to rock music, has made quite an impact:

• The average 30-year fixed mortgage rate has more than doubled since last January (3.29% → 6.90%).
• The yield on a two-year US Treasury bond increased from 2.1% in March of last year to 4.0% this week.
• Average credit card interest rates are sitting at 20.4%, up from 16.3% a year ago.

Plus, the historic collapse of Silicon Valley Bank earlier this month occurred in part because the Fed’s rate hikes over the past year had devalued the bank’s long-term assets.

👀 Looking ahead… If the Fed were in the music business, right now they’d be DJ Khaled. In the central bank’s official statement, published yesterday, a majority of officials signaled their intention to raise the benchmark rate by 0.25% once more in early May (anotha one), then hold at that level through December.

🇺🇳🚰 The UN’s first major conference on water-related issues in 46 years started yesterday. Representatives from 171 countries are participating in the three-day summit held in NYC, where they aim to finalize a plan that will help address water scarcity issues around the globe. A UN study published yesterday found more than a quarter of the world’s entire population (~2.1 billion people) doesn’t currently have access to safe drinking water.

🇮🇱🇮🇷 Israel has warned the US and others that Iran could trigger a military strike over its uranium enrichment, per Axios. In recent months, Israeli officials reportedly told allies that any signs of Iran enriching uranium beyond 60% could result in a military response. Iran has already amassed 192 pounds of 60%-enriched uranium, per an International Atomic Energy Agency report late last month (not-so-fun fact: it would take ~12 days for Iran to enrich enough of its uranium stockpile to the 90% level needed to create one nuclear bomb, a senior Pentagon official told Congress in February).

🇨🇳 The Chinese province of Jiangxi launched a state-sponsored dating app to boost declining marriage rates. Though unlike Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, or other swipe-based online dating services, the Palm Guixi app uses an algorithm that takes background data uploaded by users and matches them on blind dates. Jiangxi officials are also organizing in-person singles events and working to eliminate the custom of grooms paying the bride’s family cash, as part of their effort to increase marriages. And China isn’t the first to do this; you could say governments and dating apps are quite the match – in 2020, Japan invested $19 million in a similar initiative.

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Another Mission: Impossible is dropping later today – though in this version, Tom Cruise looks a little… different. At 10 am EDT, TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew will begin testifying before the House Committee on Energy and Commerce, as the fate of the social app’s existence in America hangs in the balance.

The hearing will focus on three main issues:

1. TikTok’s consumer privacy and data security practices
2. How the social media platform affects children
3. The company’s relationship with the Chinese Communist Party

And much like grilling at altitude, the stakes (steaks) are high. Last week, the Committee on Foreign Investment in the US notified TikTok that it faces a nationwide ban if its parent company, ByteDance, doesn’t sell its US holdings. The warning followed three-plus years of negotiation between the federal government and TikTok over national security concerns.

👀 Looking ahead… According to prepared testimony released ahead of today’s hearing, Chew will try to assuage fears of Chinese influence by announcing a new company to handle all US user data, which will report to an independent American board “with strong security credentials."

He also plans to warn Congress that banning TikTok would hurt the ~5 million US businesses that use the app to reach customers, and would “silence the voices” of the 150+ million Americans who currently use the app each month (up from 100 million in 2020).

From The Terminator to 2001: A Space Odyssey, screenwriters love writing about dystopian, AI-run futures. But negotiating for who gets credit when the AI begins helping write the scripts? That’s a different story.

In its first bargaining session with the studios on Monday, the Writer’s Guild of America (WGA) proposed that AI can be used, but not receive credit for any contribution made during the screenwriting process. Meaning if a studio handed a writer an AI-written script to polish and edit, that writer would be credited with the entire screenplay.

🤝 Why it’s a big deal: The writers aren’t just jockeying for bragging rights – how they’re credited affects how much they’re paid, both up front and in residuals.

• Screenwriters who adapt “source material,” like a magazine article, book, or play, often only make 75% of the residuals they’d get for an original script.
• This distinction is also why the Oscars have two categories for writers: Best Original Screenplay and Best Adapted Screenplay.

♟️🤖 Bottom line: If approved, the proposal would be a big short-term victory for the screenwriters. But bigger questions still loom ahead. For one – the proposal doesn’t include any indication of how the WGA plans to treat a screenplay that’s 100% written by AI without any help from a human. 

The actor’s union, SAG-AFTRA, has also raised concerns about the effects of AI on performers, particularly around losing control of their image, voice, and likeness.

💬 Quoted… “It’s a weird thing in retrospect.”

Before they both hit it big in Hollywood, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck used to share a bank account as teenagers in the late 1980s, the duo revealed yesterday on The Bill Simmons Podcast.

• But they weren’t allowed to dip into the joint account whenever they wanted – the money could only be spent on three things: auditions, video games, and attempts to buy beer.

📊 Stat of the Day: In terms of market cap, Apple and Microsoft currently account for a combined 13.3% of the entire S&P 500, the highest level on record and up from 4.5% in 2009.

🤯 Did You Know?... The world's longest constitution was the Alabama Constitution of 1901, clocking in at 388,882 total words. By the time it was replaced in 2022, it measured 51x longer than the US version, and 12x longer than the average US state constitution.

📖 Worth a Read: Behind the unraveling of the US News college rankings → (WSJ)

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• ☝️ The oldest and most complete Hebrew Bible, the Codex Sassoon, has been placed on display in the Israeli city of Tel Aviv before its sale at an auction in May; it’s thought to have been created 1,100 years ago, and is expected to compete for the title of most expensive historical document ever sold at auction (currently $43.2 million for a first-edition US Constitution).

BUSINESS & MARKETS

• 💰 US markets closed down across the board yesterday (S&P: -1.7%; Dow: -1.6%; Nasdaq: -1.6%).
• ⚖️ The SEC notified Coinbase that it’s planning a lawsuit against the crypto exchange for allegedly violating consumer-protection laws.
• 🍸 White Claw announced a new line of regular and flavored vodka.

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SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• ⚖️🏥 Rick & Morty co-creator Justin Roiland’s domestic violence charges were dismissed yesterday. | Rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine was taken to the hospital yesterday following an assault in a Florida gym. | Gwyneth Paltrow’s civil trial began yesterday; the actress is accused of crashing into a man while skiing in Park City, UT.
• 📲 Apple’s iOS 16.4 update, slated for release next week, will include 21 new emojis (31 including skin tone variations), as well as push notifications for web apps.
• 🌌 The untitled Star Wars movie has a new writer: Peaky Blinders creator Steven Knight; the hire follows news earlier this week of screenwriters Damon Lindelof (Lost) and Justin Britt-Gibson leaving the project.

SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

• 💉 Moderna will price its Covid vaccine at ~$130 per dose when it shifts to commercial distribution later this year; the US government paid between $15 to $26 per dose.
• 🧬🎶 DNA from locks of Ludwig van Beethoven’s hair – which were often kept as keepsakes by his friends – was recently used to sequence the famous composer’s genome, per a peer-reviewed study published yesterday in Current Biology.
• 🤖 Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates said AI is the most revolutionary technology he’s seen since the mobile phone in a recent blog post; he also compared AI to inventions like the internet, the personal computer, and the microchip.

EVERYTHING ELSE

• 🚰 A Michigan judge on Tuesday gave final approval to a $626 million settlement for the residents of Flint, MI, over the city’s water crisis that began in 2014.
• ⚖️ The grand jury investigating former President Donald Trump’s role in a payment to adult film star Stormy Daniels was instructed not to meet yesterday, delaying any potential indictment of the former president. (Background)
• 🏛️🫀🫁 The Biden administration announced a new initiative to “modernize” America’s organ transplant system.

CLICKBAIT

• 🛣️ The 50 best springtime drives in America.

*Sponsored post

Yesterday we covered the possibility of an indictment against former President Donald Trump over payments made to adult film star Stormy Daniels in the closing days of the 2016 election.

❓ Our question to you (long-form): In your opinion, how would Trump being indicted and arrested affect the 2024 election?

• “He’ll still run. He has a strong following, and similar allegations haven’t affected him in the past. Hopefully this time around people will vote for a better Republican candidate.”
• “Unless Trump is physically unable to be elected for president, I think this will absolutely have a positive effect on whatever campaigning he decides to do for the 2024 election. Some people believe the justice system is being misused for political gain, and this is a prime example of what they're talking about.”
• “It would make potential voters reconsider who would be on their ballot. It may split Republican votes, or it may pull in a candidate who is more centrist to garner votes from both sides of the aisle.”
• “It will make it even more of a mess than the past few. I honestly don't know if our society can handle much more of this. Trump is awful, and I don't want him back, but it's time to stop with the theatrics.”

Click here to read more of the best responses from Friday’s poll.

+Note on sample size: We received 743 longform responses.

We bring you the most unusual, off-the-wall and occasionally laugh-out-loud headlines from this week.

• An alligator knocks on a door in Florida, waits for the owner to come out and bites him → (AS USA)
• Tax Heaven 3000 Is an Anime Dating Sim That Does Your Taxes → (The Escapist)
• 'Dad jokes' could be helping kids grow into healthy adults, experts say → (FOX5NY)
• Carjacker busted after becoming confused by stick shift → (CWB Chicago)
• World's longest beard reaches 8 feet, 3 inches long → (UPI)

Sisters Annie Ijpelaar and Sheila Anne Fry were both adopted as babies shortly after WWII. The women never knew anything about their birth father, or each other – until now. 

👯‍♀️ 🔦 Finding each other... It was Annie's son who kicked off the search for his mom's biological family. Thanks to a DNA test, he was able to get in touch with Sheila's daughter-in-law, who then connected the two sisters. 

• Annie and Sheila met over video chat last year. Recently, they finally were able to meet in person. 

🗯 What they're saying: “It was like looking in the mirror and talking to myself," said Sheila. "It was amazing."

Annie agreed. “It was very special, and we immediately connected... it felt very strange and also natural to see and talk to my sister after all these years."

Glacier National Park, pictured above, is located in which US state? 

(keep scrolling for the answer)

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**The Parallel Flight sponsor block was written and/or published as a collaboration between The DONUT's in-house sponsored content team and a financial partner of The DONUT. Although the piece is not and should not be construed as editorial content, the sponsored content team works to ensure that any and all information contained within is true and accurate to the best of their knowledge and research. The DONUT may receive monetary compensation from the issuer, or its agency, for publicizing the offering of the issuer’s securities. This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be investing advice. This is a paid ad. Please see 17(b) disclosure linked in the campaign page for more information.