Good morning. Today is April 1st, 2023.

April Fools! Gotcha!

Meaning, it’s not April Fools’ Day. Like, it’s actually March 31, 2023, but we wanted to do an early April Fools since the real April Fools is tomorrow and we’re not sending out a newsletter.

We’re not April Fooling anymore though. This is all real. We need to win back your trust or you’re gonna think the rest of this newsletter is a joke and it’s simply not.

Tomorrow is April Fools’ Day. Tomorrow is Saturday. The Sun will rise in the east. These are all true things. And now, more truth: THE NEWS.

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 4.83 minutes to read.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

–Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Yesterday, a federal judge in Texas struck down a provision of the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) that requires US insurance companies to cover preventative treatments like mammograms, colonoscopies, and cancer screenings for free.

📝🩺 Background: The ACA currently requires all US insurers to cover more than 100 preventative health services for free. These services are recommended by a series of three government panels.

But yesterday, Judge Reed O’Connor – who in 2018 struck down the entire ACA – ruled that one of the three panels violates the Appointments Clause of the Constitution, since its 16 members aren’t appointed by the President, nor confirmed by the Senate.

• This decision could result in 150+ million Americans having to pay for dozens of health screenings and treatments that were previously free, as current health insurance plans expire over the next year, per the WSJ.

🗣️ The arguments: The plaintiffs, a group of six individuals and two companies, contend that some of the ACA’s mandated screenings aren’t worth the resulting rise in premiums paid by US insurance holders. They also assert that some treatments violate their religious beliefs, specifically citing contraceptives, STD/drug screenings, and preventative HIV treatment.

The defendants, a coalition of 20 mostly Democratic state AGs and the Biden administration, argue that the ACA’s preventative care provision has significantly improved Americans’ health and welfare, and driven down US healthcare costs overall.

👀 Looking ahead… The Biden admin is expected to appeal the ruling and request a temporary stay, which would mean the ACA coverage requirements remain in place during the appeals process. Legal analysts say the case will likely be further appealed to the Supreme Court over the next few months.

📊 Flash poll: Do you think yesterday’s ruling will have a material impact on Americans’ health?

Yes

No

Unsure/other

🇷🇺 Russia arrested a WSJ reporter yesterday, accusing him of espionage on behalf of the US. The detention of 31-year-old Evan Gershkovich marks the first case of Moscow charging an American journalist with spying since the Cold War ended in 1991. Russian officials are claiming that Gershkovich tried to obtain classified information about the country’s military-industrial complex, with the intention of reporting back to the US government. The White House and WSJ have denied the allegations and demanded that Gershkovich be released immediately.

🔊 A newly-declassified US gov’t report concluded that “Havana Syndrome” may be caused by a weapon – contradicting officials’ previous claims. A federal report published earlier this month said the wide range of symptoms – including severe headaches, fatigue, and memory loss – that were reported by 1,500+ US federal employees over the past six years were “probably” caused by a combination of natural factors. But a different federal report, obtained this week by Salon via a public records request, concluded that some of the Havana Syndrome cases can’t be easily explained by known environmental or medical conditions, and could have come from an electromagnetic weapon.

🇻🇦 The Vatican has officially rejected its 15th-century “Doctrine of Discovery,” which was used to justify European colonialism. The doctrine authorized colonial powers like Spain and Portugal to seize lands and subjugate people in Africa and the "New World” for the sake of spreading Christianity. It was previously invoked in an 1823 US Supreme Court ruling that found Indigenous Americans had only rights of "occupancy," not ownership, over lands they had lived on for centuries. In a statement published yesterday, the Vatican said the doctrine “did not adequately reflect the equal dignity and rights of Indigenous peoples” and has never been considered an expression of the Catholic faith.

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• That gap? The capability to transport heavy payloads great distances, i.e., delivering tools and supplies to firefighters.

Featured on ABC and backed by NASA, as well as strategic partnerships formed with USDA Wildlife Services and the US Air Force, Parallel Flight Technologies’ drones offer an exponential improvement over current technology. Also, the commercial drone market is projected to grow from $42 billion to $582 billion by 2030, and PFT is positioned to capitalize, already acquiring more than $9 million in investments.

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If Paul Revere was trying to warn people living in NYC of impending traffic jams – one if by land, two if by air – three lanterns would be hanging above the Statue of Liberty rn.

One, because, well, it’s about to be morning commute time. The two other lanterns would be because JetBlue is preparing to cut dozens of weekly flights in the NYC area this spring and summer in response to a shortage of air traffic controllers, CEO Robin Hayes told CNBC this week.

The airline's move comes in response to a FAA report released last week, which predicted a 45% year-over-year increase in delays at NYC-area airports this summer due to ongoing staffing shortfalls at its Air Route Traffic Control centers🕯️🕯️🗽.

And much like in The Last of Us, it’s not just New York that’s afflicted – the overall number of certified air traffic controllers across the US has fallen from 15,200 a decade ago to 14,000 today.

• That could change soon though; the US Transportation Department submitted a budget request this month seeking $117 million to hire 1,500 new air traffic controllers this year, then 1,800 next year.

🇺🇸🕯️🕯️ Zoom out: A handful of other US airlines, including United, Delta, American, and Hawaiian Airlines, have also announced plans to cut flights from their spring and summer schedules, stemming in part from a shortage of air traffic controllers.

A few months after acquiring Twitter for $44 billion, Elon Musk called the social platform a “flaming dumpster rolling down the street.” It seems like Twitter’s advertisers would very much agree.

According to the marketing intelligence firm Pathmatics, Twitter’s top ten advertisers spent $7.6 million over the last two months. That’s down 89% from the $71 million spent in September and October of last year.

• And it's not just the top ten – of Twitter’s top 1,000 advertisers in September of last year, only ~37% were still around this January.

🖼️ Big picture: Though the site’s daily user count has increased slightly since 2022, total revenue is down by about 50%, according to Musk. And remember the $44 billion price tag paid for the platform back in October (or was it last April?)? It’s now worth $20 billion.

To remedy this, Musk and Twitter’s sales team have been hard at work trying to woo advertisers back to the platform. One recent initiative is “adjacency controls,” which would allow advertisers to block their ads from running nearby certain keywords and images. The company has also begun offering advertisers substantial discounts to lure them back to the platform.

+Quote Tweet: In unrelated Twitter news, part of the company’s source code was leaked by a GitHub account called FreeSpeechEnthusiast earlier this week.

💬 Quoted… “This evening we contacted Mr. Trump’s attorney to coordinate his surrender.”

Former President Donald Trump was indicted by a Manhattan grand jury last night for his alleged role in paying hush-money to adult film star Stormy Daniels on the eve of the 2016 presidential election.

• The move kicks off a process in which Trump is expected to travel to New York and face the charges, which experts say wouldn’t have any potential legal impact on his 2024 presidential campaign. It also marks the first time in history that a former US president has faced criminal charges.

Dive deeper: Background | From the Left | From the Center | From the Right

+Flash poll: Do you think former President Trump should be indicted?

• Yes
• No
• Unsure/other

🏖️ Stat of the Day: 48% = the percentage of US workers who use all of their available paid vacation days, per new data from Pew Research.

🤯 Did You Know?... On average, 1 in every 8 women who know they are pregnant will experience a miscarriage within the first 23 weeks, according to the National Institutes of Health.

📖 Worth a Read: Could one of these exoplanets be another Earth? → (The Atlantic)

• ☝️ Tyrannosaurus Rex may have kept its teeth hidden behind lip-like tissue, according to a new peer-reviewed study published yesterday in Science.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

• 💰 US markets closed up across the board yesterday (S&P: +0.6%; Dow: +0.4%; Nasdaq: +0.7%).
• ✈️ Virgin Orbit will cease operations for the foreseeable future after failing to find funding, the company’s CEO told employees yesterday; about 90% of the workforce, or 900 people, will be laid off.
• ⚖️ FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried pleaded not guilty to five charges yesterday, including allegedly bribing Chinese officials to grant him access to frozen crypto accounts.

SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• 🏀 The Women’s NCAA Final Four tips off tonight with No 1. Virginia Tech vs. No. 3 LSU at 7 pm ET, and No 1. South Carolina vs. No 2. Iowa at 9 pm ET. | The Men’s NCAA Final Four will be played tomorrow; No. 5 San Diego St. takes on No. 9 Florida Atlantic at 6:09 pm ET, and No. 4 UConn plays No. 5 Miami FL at 8:49 pm ET.
• 🤖 BuzzFeed has published about 40 AI-generated travel guides in the last month, Futurism reported yesterday.
• ⚖️ Gwyneth Paltrow was found not liable yesterday in a civil suit for damages related to a 2016 skiing accident.

SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

• 🌱🗣️ Tomato and tobacco plants make distinct high-pitched sounds when they’re cut or dehydrated… and some animals can probably hear them, per a peer-reviewed study published yesterday in Cell.
• 🌕🌐 Nokia announced plans to launch a 4G mobile network on the Moon later this year.
• 🕳️⭐ New peer-reviewed research suggests that black holes could retain information about the massive stars that created them; it represents a possible solution to Stephen Hawking’s famous black hole paradox.

EVERYTHING ELSE

• 🙏 Nine US soldiers were killed on Wednesday night when two Army Black Hawk helicopters crashed during a training exercise in Kentucky.
• ⚖️📱 The state of Arkansas filed a lawsuit against TikTok, ByteDance, and Meta over claims the companies’ products are harmful to young people’s mental health; officials from five other states have filed similar suits in recent months. (Background)
• 🏛️🦠 The Senate voted 68-23 to approve a measure ending the federal government’s Covid emergency declaration three years after it was enacted; the bill now heads to President Biden, who has said he will sign it into law. (From the Left | From the Center | From the Right)

CLICKBAIT

• 🥒🎾 John McEnroe is playing pickleball for $1 million? You cannot be serious.

Always educational, sometimes challenging, but never disappointing: it's the DONUT's weekly news quiz.

Test your mettle against our team.

Tabby cat Oliver's owners were devastated when he went missing without a trace earlier this month. 

But after looking “compulsively” at the animal care services website for their precious pet, they were shocked when they saw a post describing a found cat as “Stunt Devil Bridges."

• Turns out, Oliver had been found balancing on the ledge of an interstate bridge after a local 311 call.

💬 What they're saying: “Thank you to everyone who helped him!" read a post by Oliver's owner. "He is my emotional support cat, and had it not been for all the people calling about him, we would have never found him." 

Below are three lists of ingredients. All you have to do is give us the completed dish they make.

☝️ Recipe #1:

• Eggs
• Vegetable oil
• Yellow onion
• Cabbage
• Garlic
• Water
• Garaetteok
• Scallions
• Soy sauce
• Sugar
• Sesame oil
• Sesame seeds

✌️ Recipe #2:

• Neutral oil
• Chicken breasts
• Salt & pepper
• Garlic powder
• Cilantro
• Strawberries
• Shallots
• Balsamic vinegar
• Chipotle chile
• Jalapenos
• Adobo sauce
• BBQ sauce
• Honey

3️⃣ Recipe 3:

• Flour
• Baking powder
• Salt
• Ricotta cheese
• Sugar
• Grated zest of 1 lemon, lime, grapefruit, or orange
• Eggs
• Vanilla extract
• Butter
• Raspberries

(keep scrolling for the answers)

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☝️ Recipe #1: Tteokbokki (Spicy Korean Rice Cakes)

✌️ Recipe #2: Strawberry jalapeño chicken

3️⃣ Recipe 3: Raspberry ricotta cake

**The Parallel Flight sponsor block was written and/or published as a collaboration between The DONUT's in-house sponsored content team and a financial partner of The DONUT. Although the piece is not and should not be construed as editorial content, the sponsored content team works to ensure that any and all information contained within is true and accurate to the best of their knowledge and research. The DONUT may receive monetary compensation from the issuer, or its agency, for publicizing the offering of the issuer’s securities. This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be investing advice. This is a paid ad. Please see 17(b) disclosure linked in the campaign page for more information.