Good morning. It’s May 1, and you know what that means… 🥁🥁🥁

It’s SCHOOL PRINCIPAL’S DAY! Wait, what?

Hm. When asked about the origins of the holiday, every principal we interviewed claimed not to have been involved, like not even a little bit, in the creation of the holiday. They weren’t even around the day it was made, they don’t think. Probably busy being really great principals, if they had to guess.

But it’s an honor, they say, so thank you.

WE HOPE YOU’RE SITTING BECAUSE IT’S THE NEWS.

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 4.73 minutes to read.

"Listen to what you know instead of what you fear."

–Richard Bach (b. 1936)

According to a new report from Federal Reserve officials that’s one part Boiler Room, one part Andy Samberg self-burn, and one part finger-pointing, there were three main factors leading to the $209 billion implosion of Silicon Valley Bank, aka the third-largest bank collapse in US history.

📅 Some quick background: In early March, federal regulators shut down SVB when it became completely insolvent following the largest bank run in modern US history ($42 billion withdrawn in a single day). The panic was prompted by the devaluation of SVB’s long-term assets, which occurred because of the Fed’s interest-rate hikes over the past year (dive deeper).

📑 So, what’s in the Fed’s report?… The 114-page assessment blamed SVB’s historic collapse on three main culprits:

1. SVB’s board of directors, which the report said “put short-run profits above effective risk management.”
2. The Fed’s banking supervisors (oooh, self burn; those are rare), who identified many of SVB’s issues in the months or years leading up to its collapse… but never followed up on them. At the time of its demise, SVB had accumulated 3x the amount of supervisory warnings compared to its peers, many pointing out the exact things that ultimately led to its downfall.
3. A law passed by Congress in 2018 that exempted SVB and other similarly-sized banks from enhanced regulations.

The report concluded by recommending the Fed implement tougher rules – including stricter capital and liquidity requirements – on US banks with $100+ billion in assets, as well as mandatory stress tests for different hypothetical crises.

And the changes likely won’t stop there: regulators are expected to publish another report later today focusing on potential alterations to the $250,000-per-account threshold for FDIC insurance, plus a second round of congressional hearings with the Fed’s top banking regulators is scheduled for mid-May.

🏦 Zoom out: Watching the US banking system rn is a lot like a Detroit Lions fan glued to this year’s draft results; the bad news keeps on coming. Regulators seized the struggling First Republic Bank over the weekend – good for the second-largest bank collapse in US history – and sold most of its assets to JPMorgan, the country's largest bank.

• First Republic’s stock price plunged from $122 in early March to less than $4 on Friday, largely due to the same reason behind SVB’s collapse – a sharp devaluation in long-term assets following the Fed’s recent interest-rate hikes.

📊 Flash poll: Which of the following best describes your current level of confidence in the US banking system?

A great deal of confidence

Some confidence

Very little/no confidence

Unsure/other

🇿🇦 South African sailor Kirsten Neuschäfer became the first woman to win a solo round-the-world yacht race. The 39-year-old set off from France on September 4, 2022, alongside 15 male competitors. After more than 235 straight days alone at sea in her 36-foot-long vessel, Neuschäfer became the first competitor to make it back to France on Thursday, having traveled a total of 30,290 nautical miles. (Fun fact: the route was a replica of the one Sir Robin Knox-Johnston took when he became the first person to perform a solo, nonstop circumnavigation of the globe in 1968-69.)

🇺🇦🇷🇺 Ukraine attacked Russian-occupied Crimea in preparation for a coming offensive. That’s according to a Ukrainian military spokesperson, who claimed responsibility yesterday for a drone attack on an oil depot in Sevastopol, the largest city in Crimea, that resulted in a large fire. One day earlier, Russia’s military had launched a series of missile strikes targeting Ukrainian towns located hundreds of miles from the front lines of battle, resulting in at least 23 civilian deaths.

🇬🇧 BBC Chairman Richard Sharp resigned over his previously-undisclosed involvement in a $1 million loan to former PM Boris Johnson. Sharp’s resignation on Friday came after a government investigation determined the former Goldman Sachs banker created the appearance of a conflict of interest by not fully disclosing his past relationship with then-PM Johnson when applying for the BBC chairman job in 2021 (he was later appointed by Johnson himself). Sharp will stay in his chairman role until a successor is appointed next month.

Tomorrow is National Matcha Day, and there’s a rich history to celebrate. Over 1,000 years ago, tea farmers in Japan began crafting matcha – and soon it became beloved for its health benefits. 

Many drink matcha for the non-jittery, all-day energizing effects of a single cup, not to mention its powerful wellness-boosting properties! Plus, it’s gluten-free and 100% vegan.

• As world-renowned plant-based ultra-endurance athlete, Rich Roll puts it, “I love matcha, it gives you a boost, but it's also a calm energy.”

🍵 Matcha.com, The DONUT's favorite and go-to matcha provider, is responsible for 4,000,000 happy matcha moments and counting. And there's a big reason why: they offer many choices of the highest quality matcha and Japanese teas, as well as a wealth of resources and recipes.

🚨🏷 Awesome savings alert: DONUT Readers can save an additional 20% sitewide at Matcha.com for a limited time. Use code MATCHADAY.

Celebrate National Matcha Day and Activate 20% OFF at Matcha.com.

Millennials and older, fear not – we’ve got some data on what the Gen Zers are thinking.

Well, at least about politics and voting. According to the results from the 45th Harvard Youth Poll released last week (which our interns and younger writers begged me not to describe as “a vibe”), here’s how the youths feel about:

• President Biden: President Biden’s approval rating among 18-to-29-year-olds is currently 36%, a 5% drop from last spring.
• The Supreme Court: Trust in the Supreme Court to “do the right thing” all or most of the time dropped to 33%, down from 43% in 2018.
• The Future/Mental Health: About 47% of young adults under 30 reported “feeling down, depressed, or hopeless,” for at least several days in the last two weeks. And about a third of respondents (34%) said they often worried about a potential mass shooting when in a public place.

👍 Big picture: Compared to respondents ten years ago, young Americans today are more likely to approve of the government stepping in to help people. For example: 65% of people agreed with the statement that “Basic health insurance is a right for all people, even if they cannot pay for it,” which is up from 42% in 2013.

*DJ Khaled voice* Anotha one – half of all respondents said the government should do more to curb climate change (even at the expense of economic growth); that’s up from 29% in 2013.

💬 Quoted… “The huge potential is that any kind of company can soon use AI for a problem that normally requires an entire procurement team to handle.”

For the past two years, Walmart has been using an AI chatbot developed by California-based startup Pactum AI to bargain with some of its 100,000+ suppliers, per a Bloomberg article published late last week. And according to Walmart execs, things are going pretty smoothly:

• The new AI helper has successfully reached deals with ~68% of suppliers it approached since 2021, with an average savings of 3% compared to non-AI-brokered contracts.
• Pactum AI’s software has also cut Walmart’s negotiating time for each supplier deal down to days, compared to weeks or months when handled solely by humans.

🎶 Stat of the Day: An estimated 50% of Americans who purchased a vinyl record within the past year don’t own a record player, per a recent study by Luminate.

🤯 Did You Know?... In 1989, a Philadelphia man spent $4 at a local flea market to buy a less-than-stellar painting he wanted for its frame; after returning home, the man discovered one of the 26 known copies of the Declaration of Independence hidden behind the painting. He later auctioned it off for $2.42 million.

📖 Worth a Read: ​​We Hope Your iPhone Never Gets Stolen. But Just in Case… → (WSJ)

👑🐕 It’s only natural to want to give our pets the best, and Katio Dogio lets you do just that with their wall-mountable raised feeders. By elevating your furry friend’s food, you elevate their life by:

• Promoting better posture
• Being in a better position for sore joints (especially useful for arthritic dogs)
• Enabling better digestion and preventing throwing up (for our food-motivated cats/doggos that are speedy eaters)
• Reducing whisker stress and fatigue

The Doggy Diner and the Kitty Kafe are convenient for owners as well. Made from food-grade materials, the bowls are easily removable for convenient washing. And no more kicking bowls over… they were voted 2022 Pet Innovation of the Year for a reason!

😸🐶 Katio Dogio care about all pets in need. That's why 5% of your purchase will be donated to their animal rescue center partners.

Give your pet the dining experience they deserve with the Doggy Diner or Kitty Kafe from Katio Dogio.

• ☝️ You’re looking at an incredibly rare stone called a diamond within a diamond, which was recently discovered by an India-based mining company; the new “Beating Heart” diamond features a smaller piece that moves around freely within the larger stone.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

• 📝 Apple, Starbucks, and Ford are among the companies scheduled to report earnings this week.
• 💰 Arm, the SoftBank-owned chipmaker, filed for a US-based IPO to take place later this year; the tech company will seek to raise between $8 and $10 billion, per Reuters. | OpenAI reportedly closed a new ~$300 million funding round valuing the company between $27 billion and $29 billion.
• 💼 Nearly a quarter of all jobs will change over the next five years, per a new report from the World Economic Forum; the primary reasons behind the changes include AI, digitization, and the transition to green energy.

SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• 🍿 Super Mario Bros. became this year’s first movie to top $1 billion at the box office; it’s the fifth film to do so since the start of the Covid pandemic, joining Avatar 2, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Top Gun: Maverick, and Jurassic World: Dominion.
• 🐦 Twitter CEO Elon Musk announced a new feature that will allow media publishers to charge users for individual articles starting later this month.
• 🏈 The 2023 NFL Draft wrapped up over the weekend. | 🏀 Warriors guard Steph Curry scored 50 points in last night’s victory against the Kings, setting a new all-time high for a Game 7; the Warriors will meet LeBron James and the Lakers in the next round. (Full NBA Playoffs bracket)

SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

• 🪐 China’s Zhurong Mars rover recently discovered evidence of liquid water at low Martian latitudes, which indicates the red planet may contain potentially habitable environments.
• 🐦📲 Video calls between pet parrots can help fulfill their social needs and replicate some of the social benefits of living in a flock, per a new study presented at a scientists’ conference last week.
• 🙅‍♀️🚀 SpaceX’s Starship, the world’s most-powerful rocket, has been grounded by the FAA while the agency conducts a safety investigation into the rocket’s first-ever test flight last month. (Background)

MISCELLANEOUS

• 🙏 Texas law enforcement is still searching for a 38-year-old gunman accused of fatally shooting five people on Friday. | Three US soldiers were killed and another soldier was injured after two Army helicopters collided near Healy, Alaska, on Thursday.
• ⛽ California state regulators approved new rules on Friday banning the sale of new buses or trucks that run on diesel fuel starting in 2036.
• 🏛️ The White House Correspondents Dinner was held in Washington, D.C., on Saturday night.

CLICKBAIT

• ✈️ The best US airlines of 2023.

On Friday, we covered a new plan from the US government to make homeownership more accessible, which manifests in the form of higher fees for borrowers with good credit, as well as lower fees for borrowers with poor credit.

❓ Our question to you : How do you feel about the upcoming changes to the way US mortgage fees are calculated?

• 👍 Strongly agree: 8%
• 📈 Agree/Somewhat agree: 8%
• 🤷 Neutral: 7%
• 📉 Disagree/Somewhat disagree: 18%
• 👎 Strongly disagree: 59%

Click here to read some of the best responses from Friday’s poll.

+Note on sample size: We received 10,977 votes and 1,124 longform responses.

Monday: May Day; Asian Pacific American Heritage Month begins; the annual Met Gala held in NYC

Tuesday: National Home Price Index for January released

Wednesday: Federal Reserve decides whether or not to hike interest rates

Thursday: May the Fourth be with you, aka Star Wars Day

Friday: Cinco de Mayo; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 premieres in US theaters; April jobs report

Nebraska's Omaha Central High School set out to make history last week... with water balloons. 

🎈Try to stay dry... With more than 1,000 students gathered on the field, the high school officially broke the Guinness World Record for the largest water balloon toss.

• "I think, you know, it's history," said assistant principal Jodi Dierks. "And we here are history at Central, we are part of history with Central High School. The Guinness Book of World Records is part of history as well."

Guess the definitions of the following Greek/Latin root words:

1. Ann
2. Cephal
3. Ec
4. Pod
5. Torpe

(keep scrolling for the answers)

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1. Ann = Yearly (e.g., annual, anniversary)
2. Cephal = Head (cephalopod, cephalic)
3. Ec = Out (eccentric)
4. Pod = Foot (tripod, cephalopod)
5. Torpe = Numb (torpid, torpor)