Good morning. Father’s Day is coming up (June 18, you’ve still got time). And to celebrate, the good folks at betting.us conducted a survey of 1,500 dads, with one aim being to find out the most common dad joke in America. Ready for it?

“Hi hungry, I’m Dad.” (as a response to, “Dad, I’m hungry.”)

Absolute banger of a joke, if you ask the fathers of The DONUT. 10/10, no notes.

The survey also found Pennsylvania to be the state with the most dad-isms, while Oregon and Mississippi were tied as the states with the least dad-isms.

Which is why we’re issuing an ALL DADS ALERT: drop whatever you’re doing (unless it’s a baby - classic dad-ism) and get to one of those states asap. Once there, take a nap and, upon waking, say “I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.”

LET’S NEWS.

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 4.85 minutes to read.

“We turn not older with years but newer every day.”

–Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

At around 3 pm ET yesterday afternoon, New York City recorded a score over 340 on the air quality index scale – good for the worst air quality in the world (for context: anything above 300 is considered “hazardous”).

And while finance-bro vape clouds or exhaust from the city’s bajillion cabs may initially come to mind, the real culprit is located outside the city. And it’s impacting more than just New York.

Hundreds of wildfires are currently burning across Canada, tossing up smoke that’s affecting ~100 million Americans across more than 18 states. As of midday Wednesday, the air quality was considered unhealthy in parts of Indiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio and Virginia, among other states, according to AirNow.

Because of the smoke:

• The MLB’s New York Yankees and Philadelphia Phillies both postponed yesterday’s home games.
• The FAA temporarily grounded all planes at LaGuardia Airport in NYC yesterday afternoon due to low visibility.
• Officials reported an uptick in emergency room visits in some parts of New York.

Exposure to the particulate matter in smoke can cause irritation, coughing, sneezing, and shortness of breath. Environmental health researchers have also documented increased rates of asthma attacks and heart attacks after exposure to wildfire smoke over a few days, the WSJ reports.

🔥📸 Big picture: Canada is experiencing what NASA has described as an “unusually intense” start to its wildfire season. To put that into numbers: the country has seen more than 8.7 million acres – an area larger than Maryland – burned so far this year. In a typical fire season, about 600,000 acres would have been burned by this point.

📰🌞 Most news outlets just report on problems, but The Goodnewsletter only reports on solutions. Every day, thousands of world-changers wake up to the best good news stories in their email inboxes. The Goodnewsletter highlights the best good news happening in the United States and around the world.

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🇸🇦 Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman met with US Secretary of State Antony Blinken yesterday. US officials said the nearly two-hour meeting was mainly centered around the ongoing civil war in Yemen, with both sides reaching a “comprehensive political agreement to achieve peace, prosperity, and security” in the region. Other topics of discussion included the PGA Tour/LIV Golf merger plans to deepen economic ties between the two nations, Saudi Arabia’s potential to normalize relations with Israel, and human rights issues, sources told Reuters.

🐊 Scientists in Costa Rica have recorded the first known “virgin birth” in a crocodile. In a new peer-reviewed study, scientists reported on a female crocodile in a Costa Rican zoo who laid a clutch of eggs in 2018 after having lived alone for the previous 16 years. The act itself wasn’t unusual, since crocodiles can lay sterile eggs that don’t develop – but one egg continued to mature and eventually hatched into a stillborn baby. Scientists said the phenomenon of “virgin birth” – scientific name: parthenogenesis – has also been observed in birds, fish, and other reptiles, which implies it was inherited from an evolutionary ancestor (potentially dinosaurs).

🇨🇳 A record-high 12.9 million Chinese students are currently taking the country’s college entrance exam. The two-day “gaokao” exam is the sole determinant for admission to nearly all Chinese universities. Students are allowed as many attempts as they would like – but the test is only held once per year. Overall, China’s youth are the most educated in decades based on college graduation rates; they’re also currently facing record-high levels of unemployment (20.4% in April, up from pre-pandemic rates of 13% or lower).

David Grusch, a former US military and intelligence official, is claiming the federal government has possession of “intact and partially intact vehicles” of non-human origin, according to a pair of interviews with The Debrief and NewsNation published Monday.

(It was later confirmed that the vehicles were not, in fact, Pontiac Azteks.)

Grusch, who previously co-led a Pentagon unidentified anomalous phenomena (UAP) analysis during his 14-year intelligence career, says he turned over extensive classified “proof” to Congress and the Intelligence Community Inspector General via a whistleblower complaint in 2021. In it, he reportedly alleged that the government has been illegally withholding its vehicle-recovery program from Congress for decades.

The US, according to Grusch, has secretly recovered a number of vehicles in recent decades that belong to a “non-human intelligence, whether extraterrestrial or unknown origin.”

He claims the government knows this “based on the vehicle morphologies and material science testing and the possession of unique atomic arrangements and radiological signatures.”

• Jonathan Grey, a current intelligence officer specializing in UAP analysis at the National Air and Space Intelligence Center, also confirmed the existence of “exotic materials” to The Debrief, saying such recovery programs aren’t just limited to the US.

✋ Yes, but: There’s currently no public information regarding what evidence or documentation, if any, Grusch – who left his government position this past April after allegedly suffering retaliation for whistleblowing – may have possessed. The former intelligence official said he hadn’t directly witnessed or seen any photos of the recovered “non-human” objects himself, but claimed to have spoken extensively with colleagues who did.

Like cooties in elementary school, AI is all anyone can talk about these days. Which makes the fact that Apple didn’t mention it even once during Monday’s annual “look at our cool new stuff” showcase, aka the WWDC, all the more surprising.

🤖 AI = the new buzzword: For most of the tech industry, the last half-year has felt like a game of “whoever says ‘AI’ the most wins.” Case in point: Meta, Alphabet, and Microsoft mentioned the word “AI” 161 different times on their most recent earnings calls.

Apple’s contrasting approach, on the other hand, may just come down to marketing tactics. Because while the company didn’t mention the word “AI,” it did announce a number of improvements powered by AI and machine learning.

• AirPods Pro: The newest update for the wireless headphones will soon automatically turn off noise canceling mode when you’re engaged in conversation.
• Voicemails: Apple’s neural engine hardware will transcribe the first few words of a voicemail in real time so you can decide whether to take the call.
• Texting: iOS 17, the upcoming operating system for the iPhone and iPad, will come with a much-improved, AI-powered engine powering its autocorrect feature (about ducking time).

🥽 Worth mentioning: The company did also unveil the Vision Pro, its brand-new AR/VR headset, on the same day as all these👆 – and may not have wanted AI to steal its limelight.

🎧🐳 Based out of Austin, Texas, Bronze Whale blends elements of hip-hop and electronic with smooth vocals to create a unique listening experience. Laid back yet upbeat. Buttery smooth, yet it bumps.

They’ve garnered tons of support from major outlets (NBA, Sirius, Apple Music, Entertainment Weekly), and have millions of listeners worldwide… plus they’re DONUT readers!

🔥🎶 Check out Bronze Whale’s new single, “Blooming,” which is dropping tomorrow.

Pre-add "Blooming" to your Apple/Spotify playlists here.

💬 Quoted… “I met with Chris and he will be leaving CNN…”

… and so ends the one-year stint of the now-former CEO of CNN, Chris Licht.

• The move – which comes on the heels of an unflattering profile from The Atlantic – caps off what has been a tumultuous year for the cable news network. Among other things, Licht's tenure has included firing two of its top anchors, Don Lemon and Brian Stelter, the resignation of Licht’s predecessor, Jeff Zucker, and the shuttering of the channel’s streaming platform, CNN+.

👪 Stat of the Day: Up to 89,000 premature deaths could be prevented through 2050 if the US completely transitions to EVs and clean energy, according to a new report from the American Lung Association.

🤯 Did You Know?... Up until the early 20th century, a person who stayed in bed all morning was called a “slugabed.” As in: Get outta bed you slugabeds, let’s get to work!

📖 Worth a Read: The strange survival of Guinness World Records → (The Guardian)

• ☝️ Yesterday, a Greek diver specializing in locating sunken ships announced the discovery of the HMS Triumph, a British submarine that vanished during a WWII mission in 1942.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

in partnership with Dooeys

• 💰 US markets closed mixed across the board yesterday (S&P: -0.4%; Dow: +0.3%; Nasdaq: -1.3%).
• 🎮 GameStop reported worse-than-expected Q1 earnings and fired CEO Matthew Furlong yesterday; the company’s shares fell more than 20% in after-hours trading.
• 🚗⚖️ New York City joined California, Milwaukee, and Cleveland in filing a lawsuit against Kia and Hyundai; the suits claim the companies’ negligence led to a string of TikTok-inspired car thefts; the two automakers agreed last month to pay $200 million to settle a similar class-action lawsuit.

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SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• ⚽ Lionel Messi is coming to America: The 35-year-old Argentinian superstar turned down a reported $400 million offer to play in Saudi Arabia to sign a contract with Inter Miami, the MLS team partially owned by David Beckham. | 🏀 The Denver Nuggets defeated the Miami Heat 109-94 in Game 3 of the NBA Finals to take a 2-1 series lead.
• 📺 Amazon is reportedly planning to launch an ad-supported tier for its Prime Video streaming service.
• 📱 Instagram helps connect and promote a vast network of accounts openly devoted to the purchase of underage-sex content, according to investigations by the WSJ and researchers at Stanford University and UMass Amherst.

SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

in partnership with Lingopie

• 🛰️☀️ NASA’s Parker probe, which became the first craft to enter the Sun’s outer atmosphere in late 2021, was able to capture never-before-seen details concerning solar wind, per a peer-reviewed study published yesterday.
• 📹💊 Researchers at George Washington University have developed a remote-controlled, pill-shaped camera intended to diagnose patients’ digestive issues; the scientists’ goal is to eventually replace traditional endoscopies, which are costly and invasive for patients.
• 🐈💉 A single injection of an experimental gene therapy was able to stop female cats from reproducing in a small, proof-of-concept study published Tuesday in Nature Communications.

*From our partners: 📺🎓 Learn a new language just by watching TV! Choose from 1,000s of shows and 9 different languages with Lingopie. Dual subtitles and interactive features take the chore out of learning – sign up and get a 7-day free Lingopie trial.

MISCELLANEOUS

• 🌮 Taco Bell is testing a new Vegan Crunchwrap – made with plant-based beef and cheese – in LA, NYC, and Orlando for a limited time.
• 🎓 President Biden yesterday vetoed a GOP-sponsored bill that would block his administration’s student-loan forgiveness plan; the bill was narrowly approved in both chambers of Congress. (From the Left | From the Center | From the Right)
• 🏛️ Federal prosecutors have sent a letter to former President Trump notifying him that he’s the target of an ongoing criminal investigation into possible mishandling of classified documents, per multiple reports; Trump denied the claims in a social media post yesterday. (From the Left | From the Center | From the Right)

CLICKBAIT

• 🎶 A visual explanation of rhythm and grooves (sound on).

*Sponsored post

Yesterday, we covered the Human Rights Campaign’s declaration of a state of emergency for all LGBTQ+ Americans.

❓ Our question to you: In general, do you agree with the Human Rights Campaign’s declaration that the recent spike in anti-LGBTQ+ legislation represents a state of emergency for all LGBTQ+ Americans?

• 👍 Yes: 49%
• 👎 No: 42%
• 🤷 Unsure/other: 9%

Click here to read some of the best long form responses to yesterday’s poll.

+Note on sample size: We received 12,823 votes and 1,172 longform responses.

We bring you the most unusual, off-the-wall and occasionally laugh-out-loud headlines from this week.

• Louisiana dog earns world record with five-inch tongue → (Borneo Bulletin)
• Engineer beats speed record after reaching 55 mph in a trash can → (Talker News)
• Nearly 800,000 Maryland license plates link to a Filipino gambling site → (Fox5 DC)
• 685 people dressed as Spider-Man gather at Malaysia mall → (UPI)
• In Denmark, potatoes on key bridge cause havoc → (APNews)

Pam Patterson and Jeremy Salda were headed to elope in Vegas last year when their flight was canceled. Soon after, a fellow passenger who'd overheard their predicament approached the couple.

He just so happened to be an ordained minister, and offered to officiate their ceremony – they just had to get to Vegas first. The trio quickly booked the next flight out and waited to board. 

💍✈️ To the happy couple... Upon boarding their new flight, the crew noticed the couple's wedding attire and asked Pam where they were headed. 

• The plane's captain then offered the couple something even better than a Vegas wedding: an elopement right there on the plane. In a ceremony featuring toilet paper streamers, free snack packs for everyone, and a walk down the airplane aisle, Pam and Jeremy tied the knot in the sky. 

Note: an earlier version of this story ran on May 3, 2022. Our Positive DONUT writer Kailyn is currently deep in 50-hour/week rehearsals for another slate of upcoming live shows in Europe (which is taking a lot of her focus).

Which country, pictured above, is the most linguistically diverse country in the world in terms of languages spoken?

(keep scrolling for the answer)

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What to do: Copy your unique link below, then send it to anyone who you think would like the DONUT. Once you hit each milestone, you'll get an email with a link to claim your prize. (Pro tip: there's no need to ration points, you're entitled to a prize at each tier.)

Start referring.👇

Papua New Guinea