Good morning. Let’s get this Monday started with some dad jokes (courtesy of Country Living):

• I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to be a winner. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
• Did you hear about the guy who went to the doctor for a headache? The doctor examined his ear and found money. The doctor kept pulling and pulling it out until he had $1,999. Then the doctor said, "No wonder you're not feeling two grand!"
• What do you call the security guards for Samsung? Guardians of The Galaxy.

As the great Rodney Dangerfield said (probably): nothing like a good groan-chuckle to start the week off right, I’ll tell ya what.

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news should be a ~4.72-minute read (1,256 words).

P.S. First time reading? Subscribe here for free.

“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.”

–Chinese proverb

Following several months of debate, House lawmakers on Saturday approved a series of four standalone bills that include $95+ billion in aid to Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan, as well as a potential TikTok ban in the US.

More details: The vote on ~$61 billion in aid for Ukraine was the most contentious of the four bills, with all Democrats supporting the measure and more than half of Republicans opposing in a 311-112 vote.

The other two House-approved measures for foreign aid – which passed with 350+ votes apiece – contain $26 billion in funds to support Israel and provide humanitarian aid in Gaza, along with $8 billion to support Taiwan and other US allies in the Indo-Pacific.

• House lawmakers also overwhelmingly voted for a bill that would force Chinese tech giant ByteDance to sell TikTok within the next ~9 months or face a US ban (up from six months in a previous House-approved bill).
• The TikTok ban is featured alongside measures that would impose new sanctions on Iran, and would help fund the Ukrainian war effort by selling some frozen Russian assets.

The bills passed despite some pushback from House lawmakers. A group of ~20 hardline Republicans voted against all three foreign aid bills, saying the money would be better spent on domestic needs like paying down the US government’s $34+ trillion national debt.

• A few dozen progressive Democrats also voted against aid to Israel, which they characterized as helping fuel Israeli violence against Palestinian civilians, while a similar number of Dems opposed the TikTok ban due to First Amendment concerns.

👀 Looking ahead… The four bills will be bundled together and sent to the Senate, which is expected to give its approval later this week. President Biden has promised to sign the package as soon as it reaches his desk.

📊 Flash poll: Do you support the package of four bills that passed the House this weekend?

• Yes, in its entirety
• I support some bills but not others
• No, I don’t support any
• Unsure/other

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🇮🇳 India began the world’s largest democratic election in history. Polls for the first stage of India’s six-week general elections opened on Friday. Nearly 970 million voters – aka 10+% of the world’s population – are eligible to cast their ballot for India’s 543 members of parliament, who will in turn choose the country’s prime minister. Current PM Narendra Modi is expected to secure a third consecutive term once results are finalized in early June, which would make him the second Indian leader to do so since the country gained independence in 1947.

🚫🇺🇳 The US vetoed a resolution that would have paved the way for Palestine to join the UN. The resolution would have recommended that the UN General Assembly accept Palestine as the UN’s 194th member-nation, with analysts saying Palestine’s admission likely would have passed the full chamber if no veto was exercised. The US was the only UN Security Council member to oppose the resolution, with officials maintaining that America “continues to strongly support a two-state solution,” but wants Palestine's statehood to come from negotiations with Israel.

🌎 Today is Earth Day. The annual event, which dates back to 1970, is designed to highlight the importance of environmental conservation and sustainability. Earth Day has grown over the years to feature a wide range of events that include a collective 1+ billion people across 193 countries. The theme this year is "Planet vs. Plastics," which aims to increase public awareness of the detrimental effects that plastic pollution has on both human and environmental health.

Press a button on your phone, and a few minutes later food falls out of the sky. This is the future that Zipline, an autonomous drone delivery startup, has in mind for the masses.

On Friday, the company announced it had completed its one-millionth customer delivery, becoming the first in its industry to reach the two-comma club. Overall, Zipline’s zero-emission drones have now flown 70+ million autonomous commercial miles across four continents, delivering 10+ million products.

What’s next? Food delivery. The startup, which has raised $500+ million from investors including Sequoia Capital, a16z, and Google Ventures, currently works with 4,700+ hospitals, including the Cleveland Clinic, as well as brands like Walmart and GNC. But Zipline’s next phase of expansion includes partnerships with Panera Bread in Seattle and Jet’s Pizza in Detroit.

Autonomous drone delivery is on the upswing. ​​Until recently, commercial drone operators weren't permitted to fly aircraft long distances without visual spotters. This made scaling-up drone deliveries near impossible, since placing an observer every mile or so along the drones’ routes en masse is about as practical as bailing water out of a fast-sinking boat with a thimble.

However, the situation changed last fall, when the FAA began authorizing some drone operators to fly their aircraft "beyond the visual line of sight."

As a result: Expect Wing, Amazon, Walmart-backed DroneUp, and a few other companies to also begin scaling their respective autonomous drone delivery services in the US sometime this year.

+Have some free time and wanna go deeper? Check out this video chronicling Zipline and its delivery experience.

Today is Earth Day, a day to demonstrate support for environmental protection. Do your part and download Commons – the app rewarding tens of thousands of users for sustainable purchases.

• 🎁 Rack up rewards for using thrift stores, public transit, EV chargers, farmer’s markets, and more.
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💬 Quoted: “[China is developing the] ability to physically wreak havoc on our critical infrastructure at a time of its choosing.”

• According to FBI Director Christopher Wray, an ongoing hacking campaign linked to the Chinese government has successfully gained access to dozens of American infrastructure companies – covering telecommunications, energy, water, and other critical sectors – and are waiting "for just the right moment to deal a devastating blow." In a speech at a security conference on Thursday, Wray said the intent behind the Chinese hacking campaign known as Volt Typhoon is currently unclear, but US officials believe it’s part of China’s broader goal to stop the US from defending Taiwan.

💉 Stat of the Day: More than 60% of Americans who take GLP-1 medications – the highly popular group of weight loss/diabetes drugs that includes Wegovy, Ozempic, and Mounjaro – say they’re spending less on takeout and eating out at restaurants, per a new Morgan Stanley survey. Bank analysts estimate the overall market for GLP-1s will increase from ~$19 billion last year to $105 billion by 2030, with that growth expected to affect the bottom lines of some of the biggest restaurant companies and makers of packaged snacks.

🤔 Did You Know? Courtside tickets to see No. 1 overall pick Caitlin Clark’s debut with the WNBA’s Indiana Fever are more than twice as expensive as courtside seats for the Indiana Pacers’ first home game of the NBA playoffs ($2,453 vs. $1,220).

📰 Worth a Read: Debunking the Dunning-Kruger effect → (The Conversation)

• ☝️ You’re looking at some of the winners from the 2024 World Press Photo Contest, which featured 61,000+ entries from 130 countries.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

in partnership with NoNetz

• 💰 US markets closed mixed on Friday (S&P: -0.9%; Dow: +0.6%; Nasdaq: -2.1%). | 🪙 Bitcoin’s halving is now complete.
• 🛻 Tesla is recalling all 3,878 Cybertrucks due to a defective pedal pad that could cause the accelerator to get stuck in the depressed position (fully down to the floor).
• 🗳️🪧 Workers at Volkswagen’s Chattanooga (TN) factory overwhelmingly voted to join the UAW (73%); this marks the union’s first successful organizing drive of a non-Detroit Three auto-assembly factory. (Background)

*From our partners: 🌎 Soft on the planet, soft on your body… NoNetz Athleisure collection is crafted from soft, stretchable, yarn made from wood pulp. Each purchase supports the removal of non-recyclable plastics from our oceans. Save 15% on NoNetz with code DONUT15.

SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• 🏀 The NBA Playoffs tipped off this weekend following the Play-In Tournament. | 🏒 The NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs officially dropped the puck this weekend. | 📺 The NBA’s exclusive negotiating window with current media partners Disney and Warner Bros. Discovery is expected to expire today without a deal.
• 🍿 Civil War topped the domestic box office with $11 million in its second weekend; Universal’s new horror film Abigail placed second with $10.2 million in its debut.
• 🎶 The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift’s latest album that was released on Friday, became the first in Spotify history to record 300+ million streams in a single day.

SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

in partnership with Spoak

• 🧠✍️ Colorado’s governor signed a first-in-the-nation law aimed at protecting residents’ brainwave data.
• 🐍 A giant prehistoric snake between 36 and 49 feet long – possibly the largest ever – was recently discovered in a mine in western India, according to a new study.
• 🏙️🇨🇳 Nearly half of China's major cities, including Beijing, are sinking due to groundwater extraction and the sheer weight of urban buildings and infrastructure, per a new study published in Science.

*From our partners: 🙌 Try a free Spoak demo and design your ultimate bedroom… Bring your decorating ideas to life with Spoak, the platform that makes design easy and fun. Try it free or save 45% on your first month with code DONUT24.

MISCELLANEOUS

• 🎓 The University of Southern California removed outside speakers and honorees from its commencement ceremony next month, days after canceling its valedictorian’s speech over security concerns. (Background)
• 🏛️ The Senate voted 60-34 to renew Section 702 of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, a controversial US spy program some lawmakers say violates Americans’ privacy rights; President Biden has signed the renewal into law. (Background)
• ⚖️ All 12 jurors and six alternates have been selected in former President Trump's criminal hush-money trial in New York City; opening arguments will begin later today. | 🙏 A 37-year-old man died after setting himself on fire in a park across the street from Trump’s hush-money trial on Friday.

CLICKBAIT

• 🏘️ You can buy a home in France or Italy for ‘the price of a new truck’ – but take these 3 steps first.

Monday: Passover begins at sundown

Tuesday: A full moon dubbed the “Pink Moon”; Pennsylvania primary elections; Talk Like Shakespeare Day

Wednesday: Stop Food Waste Day

Thursday: SCOTUS will hear arguments in Trump immunity case

Friday: The Fed’s preferred inflation gauge reports monthly data; Challengers drops 

On Friday, we covered USC’s decision to cancel the commencement speech of its valedictorian, a Muslim student who promoted controversial pro-Palestinian social media content, due to security risks.

❓ Our question to you: In your opinion, should USC’s valedictorian be allowed to give her commencement address?

• 👍 Yes: 47%
• 👎 No: 37%
• 🤷 Unsure/other: 16%

Click here to read some of the best longform responses.

+Note on sample size: We received 3,598 votes and 377 longform responses.

Sam McGee called the same number once a year for two decades. On the other end of the receiver was the owner of a baby pink Ford Mustang previously owned by his grandmother; they were forced to sell the car in 1973 to pay for her funeral expenses.

• The new owner refused to sell, year after year. But nevertheless, he persisted.

Some backstory: Sam's grandmother passed away from suicide, and he had a vision of using the car as part of his “You Are One of One" campaign for suicide prevention. “I want it to be a rolling tribute to my grandmother," he shared.

• When the new owner heard of his vision, she finally agreed to sell the car back to Sam. In 2022, he and his dad drove 800 miles to pick it up and bring it back home – 50 years after it had left.

💬 What he's saying: “We plan on using this car for a long time," Sam said. "It's not going to sit in a museum. It's going to be used for good things."

+IMPORTANT: If you or someone you know needs help, visit 988lifeline.org or call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Guess the definitions of the following Greek/Latin root words:

1. Ambi
2. Bio
3. Ciner
4. Dexter
5. Idi

👆 Check out the referral prizes you can get, just for introducing people you know to little old us. 

What to do: Copy your unique link below, then send it to anyone who you think would like the DONUT. Once you hit each milestone, you'll get an email with a link to claim your prize.

Start referring.👇

1. Ambi = Both sides (e.g., ambidextrous)
2. Bio = Life (biography)
3. Ciner = Ash (incineration)
4. Dexter = Right (dexterity)
5. Idi = Personal (idiosyncrasy)