Good evening. In tonight’s edition:

• ❤️‍🔥 Great balls of fire
• 🧩 New puzzles
• 🛒 GOAT big box stores

…and much more.

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Each of the following events happened on December 4. Your challenge is to put them in the order in which they occurred by year, earliest to latest. Answers at the bottom!

• A) An impromptu jam session breaks out between Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash at Memphis' Sun Studios. The session, which the press dubs the “Million Dollar Quartet,” goes on to inspire a book and a Broadway adaptation.
• B) The unmanned Mars Pathfinder is launched into space from Cape Canaveral, Florida, with a goal of exploring the surface of Mars.
• C) British rock band Led Zeppelin announces they’re officially disbanding, several months after the death of drummer John Bonham.
• D) President George H. W. Bush orders 28,000 U.S. troops to Somalia, a war-torn East African nation where rival warlords are preventing the distribution of humanitarian aid to thousands of starving Somalis.

Hint: Only one change is needed for the correct order

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• 😊 Magnesium helps your muscles relax

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Step into this puzzle like you’re walking past velvet ropes. Your answers must be dressed to impress to make it through today’s Conjoiner.

The first clue of today’s sequence is: “Glamorous walkway for Hollywood events”...

Mini

Don’t be a cotton-headed ninny muggins, and you won’t have any problems with today’s puzzle. Solve it and earn a spot on the nice list:

• Play today’s mini crossword here.

Sudoku

Take a breath, reset your mood, fill in the grid to feel renewed.

• Play today's puzzle here.

From slapstick legends to modern chaos merchants, these pairs delivered iconic lines, unforgettable chemistry, and some of the funniest scenes ever filmed. Now they’re teaming up—and squaring off—on GoatWars in the Greatest Comedy Movie Duo of All Time league.

Every vote builds your personal GOAT List, ranking the duos that still make you laugh on the hundredth rewatch.

Showdowns include:

• Dumb and Dumber 🆚 Step Brothers
• Wayne & Garth 🆚 Blues Brothers
• Shrek & Donkey 🆚 Mike & Sulley

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• 🏆 2x Time’s Best Invention Awardee

🛒 THE GREATEST BIG BOX STORE OF ALL TIME

1. Costco (by a verrry wide margin)
2. Target
3. TJ Maxx
4. Ikea
5. Walmart

Explore the full list.

Note: Results are as of the published time; these lists are dynamic and may change.

A, C, D, B

• A) 1967 – An impromptu jam session breaks out between Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins and Johnny Cash.
• C) 1980 – Led Zeppelin announces they’re officially disbanding. They would later come back together several times in different forms, including a performance at Live Aid in 1985.
• D) 1992 – President George H. W. Bush orders 28,000 US troops to Somalia.
• B) 1996 – Mars Pathfinder is launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida. It’s the first of a series of missions to Mars, and becomes the first successful lander on Mars since 1976.