Pics du jour

🧅 The GOAT of online satire tentatively strikes again. Satirical news publication The Onion has purchased Infowars, Alex Jones’ conspiracy-friendly website, at bankruptcy auction for an undisclosed sum. The winning bid was backed by families of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting victims, whom Jones owes ~$1.5 billion in defamation judgments for calling the massacre a hoax. What’s next for the brand? Per Bryce P. Tetraeder, fictional CEO of The Onion’s parent company: “The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories.” Noble work. But on a more serious note: The publication plans to reintroduce Infowars in January as a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities,” the NY Times reports – though late yesterday, the court overseeing the bankruptcy put a hold on the sale pending a hearing next week.

📦 Amazon is in firing-shots mode. On Wednesday: The company launched Amazon Haul, its response to Shein, Temu, and TikTok Shop, which offer cheap goods shipped directly from China and have eaten away at its market share. Amazon Haul is a mobile-only, ultra-discount storefront offering a variety of products – including apparel, home goods, electronics, and more – priced at $20 or less. On Thursday: Amazon announced Prime members can access new upfront pricing for treatment of five common conditions, such as erectile dysfunction and men’s hair loss, placing the company in competition with other D2C marketplaces like Hims & Hers Health – whose shares fell ~24% on the news, the company’s worst day on record.

🥊 Mike Tyson and Jake Paul are set to square off. The officially sanctioned boxing match, delayed from July due to Tyson’s stomach ulcer flareup, takes place tonight at AT&T Stadium in Arlington (home of the Dallas Cowboys). Some key stats: There’s a 31-year age gap between the fighters (58 vs. 27); the rules are slightly different than regular matches (heavier gloves and shorter rounds); and it’s Netflix’s first attempt at hosting a major live sports event. Paul is a minus-275 betting favorite, according to BetMGM Sportsbook.