Good morning. A quick PSA: We’ll be taking the rest of the week off for the Thanksgiving holiday.

On that note, we’d like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! Without your support we wouldn’t be where we are today – so thank you. We’re extremeley grateful for each and every one of you🦃❤️.

In today’s edition:

• ⚖️ The Supreme Court takes on satire
• 🐦 Discovered: a bird thought to be extinct for 140 years
• 🧠🦽 Mind-controlled wheelchairs

… and more.

Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 3.70 minutes to read.

“Life is trying things to see if they work.”

–Ray Bradbury (1920-2012)

We mixed up the dates on the various Black Friday sales yesterday – events at Macy’s, Target, Kohl’s, and Best Buy started on Sunday, while Walmart’s sale began on Monday. Apologies for any confusion!

Yesterday, the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case between whiskey maker Jack Daniel’s and the manufacturer of a squeaky dog toy that parodies the whiskey’s signature bottle. And though it may seem a little silly on its face, this dispute could have far-reaching implications for satire everywhere.

At the heart of the case is a dog toy manufactured by VIP Products. The toy, product-name “Bad Spaniels,” is shaped like a Jack Daniel’s whiskey bottle – and instead of reading “Old No. 7 Brand” and “Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey,” the parody version reads “The Old No. 2 on Your Tennessee Carpet.”

And that’s not the only difference between the two. The OG whiskey bottle notates that its contents are 40% alcohol per volume, while the toy version reads “43 percent Poo by Vol.” and “100% smelly.” Which Jack Daniel’s doesn’t seem to find very funny (you could even say it makes them… barking mad).

The whiskey maker's general counsel argues VIP Products is taking advantage of Jack Daniel’s “hard-earned goodwill” to sell products, and that a ruling in the toymaker’s favor would provide near-blanket protection for any other humorous copycats.

On the flip side, VIP Products – which also manufactures other drink-themed parody toys like Mountain Drool and Heini Sniff'n – claims it’s protected by the First Amendment, and that Jack Daniel’s just can’t take a joke, doggone it.

👩‍⚖️👀 The bottom line: Though the Court’s decision isn’t expected until next summer, major companies are already taking note. Campbell’s, Levi’s, and Patagonia have all filed briefs in support of Jack Daniel’s.

🇵🇬 A bird thought to be extinct for 140 years was recently caught on video in Papua New Guinea. The black-naped pheasant-pigeon, pictured above, was identified by a remote camera trap set up by a research team on the remote island of Fergusson, where the lost bird was originally documented in 1882. Researchers chose the locations to place their cameras based on testimony from local hunters who had seen and heard the bird in recent decades.

🌍⚽ Team USA tied 1-1 with Wales in its opening World Cup match yesterday. The draw leaves both countries with one point apiece in a tally that determines who advances to the knockout round. On the other side of Team USA’s bracket, England defeated Iran 6-2 yesterday, earning three points. The match also made headlines after the entire Iranian squad declined to sing the country’s national anthem as a show of support for ongoing anti-government protests. See a full tournament schedule and results.

🇳🇿 New Zealand’s Supreme Court ruled that the voting age of 18 is discriminatory to 16- and 17-year-olds. Justices said their decision was rendered based on New Zealand’s Bill of Rights, which guarantees protections against age discrimination starting at 16. The decision triggers a process in which the measure will come before parliament for discussion and a vote, though lawmakers aren’t obliged to enact it into law. A handful of other countries allow citizens as young as 16 to vote, including Austria, Malta, Brazil, Cuba, and Ecuador.

🚨 Black Friday deals have officially kicked off at Matcha.com, and you can save an extra 30% sitewide with code EARLYDONUT!

🎁🤔 Looking for thoughtful gift ideas? Show loved ones you care with matcha, a gift that encourages and promotes a healthy lifestyle.🧘‍♀️

• Matcha.com is your one-stop shop for the absolute best matcha and matcha deals found anywhere online. They’ve delivered over 3 million happy matcha moments and counting 👏🏆

🥳 MEGA DISCOUNTS… This is your chance to get a great deal on matcha products like:

• The #1 gift: Organic Matcha Tea Set/Starter Set
• A Ceremonial 'Matcha Flight' Variety Pack
• Or Tenchi Ceremonial Organic Matcha, for the real aficionados.

🏃‍♀️ Get started… Use code EARLYDONUT to get 30%-off at matcha.com.

Give the healing power of Matcha this holiday season and save.

One of America's largest railroad unions voted to reject a White House-brokered collective bargaining agreement yesterday, bringing back the possibility of a nationwide general strike. Which, if it happens, would cost the US economy an estimated $2+ billion… per day.

🚂 Background: After contract negotiations between workers and freight railways stalled over the summer, unions collectively representing 125,000 rail workers organized a work stoppage. This impasse led the Biden admin to step-in to help broker a deal, with the two sides ultimately reaching a tentative agreement the day before workers walked off the job in mid-September.

But the key word here is “tentative” – the agreement is far from a done-deal. For it to become official, each of the 12 unions involved needed to sign-on before December 8. And as of yesterday’s news, all have weighed-in.

• Eight unions, representing about 49% of the workers covered by the proposed contracts, voted in agreement.
• Four unions, representing around 51% of the workers, voted to reject the deal. While the agreement provides a 24% pay increase by 2024, the largest in four decades, they say it doesn’t go far enough to address unfair attendance policies and poor working conditions.

🏛️ Looking ahead… Both the unions and railways have agreed to a cooling-off period until early December. And if any of the unions decide to go on strike for better terms afterward, the other 11 have pledged to join in solidarity.

But, but, but: If a final agreement isn’t reached by December 8, Congress has the power to step-in and prevent workers from going on strike.

Stay tuned.

Researchers at UT Austin have shown that paralyzed individuals can operate mind-controlled wheelchairs, per a new study published in the peer-reviewed journal iScience.

🧠🦽 How it works: There aren’t any Jedi mind tricks at play here – just plain ole’ science. The UT Austin team recruited three fully-paralyzed volunteers, who were each equipped with a non-invasive brain-machine interface (aka a helmet that detects brain waves). They were then asked to imagine moving their limbs.

• After weeks of trial and error, the researchers nailed down a working system: to move right, the volunteers tried moving both arms. To move left, they imagined moving their legs.
• By the end of the study, two volunteers were able to control their wheelchair’s movement with an accuracy rate of 95+%. Or enough to successfully navigate across a cluttered hospital room – using only their minds.

👀 Looking ahead… Experts said this technology, combined with the recent invention of brain-machine interfaces small enough to fit inside a human ear, means we could feasibly see mind-controlled wheelchairs in the real world within the next decade.

💬 Quoted…​​ "They've helped themselves to my artwork without asking, how can it be wrong for you to do the same to their clothes?"

• UK artist Banksy told London shoplifters to target clothing maker Guess in an Instagram post over the weekend, accusing the US-based company of stealing his “Flower Thrower” art design and using it to sell merchandise.

🔊📉 Stat of the Day: Amazon’s Alexa division – reportedly a main target of the company’s ongoing 10,000-worker layoff – is on pace to lose around $10 billion this year, per a new Insider report.

🤯 Did You Know?... In Hong Kong, cemeteries typically dig up dead bodies for cremation after six years in the ground, due to lack of available space.

📖 Worth a Read: Can you get sued for using a meme? → (The Hustle)

💔 A cold harsh reality (for us)… we probably aren’t your one and only newsletter, don’t worry it’s totally fine. Like many people, you’re probably subscribed to quite a few, which is great for content, but what about your inbox?!

📨📢 The inbox is noisy and you can lose control of subscriptions and even miss your favs (like a certain sweet daily dose of news). But not anymore! With Meco, you can enjoy your newsletters in an app built for reading while giving your inbox space to breathe…

• Meco connects with Gmail; instantly move your newsletters to the app (and clear your inbox)
• Packed with features to supercharge your reading: group newsletters, smart filters, bookmarks, and scrollable feeds
• Completely FREE and available on iOS and web (desktop)

Over 10k readers are decluttering their inbox with Meco – try the app today!

• ☝️ NASA’s Orion capsule passed within 81 miles of the lunar surface in a flyby yesterday; it also captured this photo of the dark side of the Moon.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

• 🚗 Tesla recalled 312,000 vehicles yesterday due to a tail light issue; it’s the automaker’s 19th recall this year.
• 🚫📚 Paramount officially scrapped a previously-agreed-upon deal to sell book publisher Simon & Schuster to rival Penguin Random House for $2.2 billion; the move comes weeks after a federal judge rejected the merger for antitrust reasons.
• 📉 Carvana’s stock hit a new all-time low of $7.05 yesterday; shares have fallen 97% so far this year; its stock was priced around $291 this time last year.

SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• ⚾​​ Olivia Pichardo, a freshman utility player and walk-on at Brown, became the first woman to make an active NCAA Division I baseball varsity roster, the school announced yesterday.
• 🐦 Twitter’s copyright system is reportedly down, allowing users to upload entire feature-length films via two-minute clips (though many accounts were later suspended).
• 🐭 New Disney CEO Bob Iger was negotiating to take a job with investment firm RedBird Capital Partners in the days before his surprise return to Disney, multiple sources told Variety.

SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

• 🤖🌊 NC State engineers have developed the fastest-swimming soft robot in history; its design is inspired by the biomechanics of manta rays.
• 🐢 Paleontologists in Spain recently unearthed fossils from a never-before-seen species of giant sea turtle; it measured over 12 feet in length and is thought to have died out 72.1 million years ago.

EVERYTHING ELSE

• 🌿 The state of New York issued its first 36 recreational cannabis dispensary licenses yesterday.
• 🪙 Two Estonian citizens were arrested for allegedly orchestrating a $575 million crypto fraud and money laundering scheme, the DOJ announced yesterday.
• 🙏⚖️ The suspect in this weekend’s shooting at an LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs will face five murder charges and five hate crime charges.
• 🎓 Seven more law schools have joined Yale and Harvard in pulling out of the U.S. News & World Report’s annual rankings: Cal Berkeley, Georgetown, Columbia, Stanford, Duke, Northwestern, and the University of Michigan. (Background)

CLICKBAIT

• 🗣️ Want to sound more confident? Ditch these 10 phrases that make you look ‘insecure’ and ‘arrogant,’ say word experts.

On Friday, we covered the use of standardized tests in college undergraduate and graduate admissions.

❓ Our question to you: Do you think colleges and universities should require standardized tests for undergraduate admission?

Follow-up question: Should graduate degree programs require standardized tests for admission?

• 👍 Yes: 33% | 82% of this group said ‘yes’ to standardized tests for graduate programs, while 18% said ‘no’.
• 👎 No: 54% | 9% of this group said ‘yes’ to standardized tests for graduate programs, while 91% said ‘no’.
• 🤷‍♀️ Unsure/other: 13% | 64% of this group said ‘yes’ to standardized tests for graduate programs, while 36% said ‘no’.

See the full 360° view.

+Note on sample size: We received 8,695 responses.

A pair of brothers in Denmark recently broke the Guiness World Record for the largest collection of Pokémon cards. 

🐉🎮 Battle buddies... Jens Ishoy Prehn and Per Ishoy Nielsen have been collecting for their entire adult lives. The most impressive card in their collection? A first-edition Charizard, worth about $20,000 in the current market.

• The brothers' total collection includes 32,809 different cards, smashing the previous world record of around 20,000 items. 

Name the films these poorly-explained plots describe.

1. Man breaks numerous health codes to please rodent.
2. Man goes to pick up his daughter.

(keep scrolling for the answers)

👆 Check out the referral prizes you can get, just for introducing people you know to little old us. 

What to do: Copy your unique link below, then send it to anyone who you think would like the DONUT. Once you hit each milestone, you'll get an email with a link to claim your prize. (Pro tip: there's no need to ration points, you're entitled to a prize at each tier.)

Start referring.👇

1. Ratatouille
2. Taken