Good morning. Whoever said there was nothing new under the sun clearly hasn’t heard of the two new pasta shapes quattrotini and vesuvio, both released by artisan pasta brand Sfoglini last week.

The quattrotini is like if one big ziti had four little ziti guys all around it (left), while Vesuvio (middle) is modeled after Mount Vesuvius. And the two come right off the heels of Sfoglini’s 2021 invention that took the pasta world by storm – the cascatelli. Designed to have a “sauce trough” that’s ideal for holding, well, sauce, the cascatelli looks like a zany kid’s slide (right).

All three are made to maximize the three qualities that their creator and two-time James Beard Award-winner Dan Pashman says are most important in pasta:

• Sauceability
• Forkability
• Toothsinkability

Amazing stuff. And with that, THE NEWS.

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 3.57 minutes to read.

"The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The work of life is to develop it. The meaning of life is to give your gift away."

–David Viscott (1938-1996)

The US military shot down a suspected Chinese surveillance balloon over the Atlantic Ocean on Saturday, three days after it was spotted above Montana by civilians in a commercial airliner (though the US gov't had reportedly already been tracking it for days).

🎈 More details… The balloon, which was roughly the size of three school buses, likely came to the contiguous US via Alaska and Canada before traveling across the country at an altitude of around 11 miles, according to federal officials.

The Pentagon said it was part of a “fleet” of Chinese surveillance balloons that have been spotted in recent years over Latin America, Europe, Asia, and the US. This includes three such incidents during the Trump administration and one at the beginning of Biden’s term, though “never for this duration of time.”

• Chinese officials claimed the balloon was a civilian weather airship that had been blown off course due to “force majeure,” aka unforeseeable circumstances.
• But US officials, including Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, dismissed Beijing’s explanation, asserting the object was clearly a surveillance balloon flying over sensitive sites to collect intelligence. Experts say China is likely using high-tech balloons to collect information instead of (or in addition to) satellites because they’re much cheaper to launch, obtain higher-quality images, and are far more maneuverable.

🇺🇲🇨🇳 Big picture: The balloon incident prompted Secretary of State Antony Blinken on Friday to cancel a planned visit to Beijing, which was aimed at improving US-China relations. The two countries have been increasingly combative over issues that include trade policy, China’s human rights record, and the sovereignty of Taiwan.

• And on that note: a D.C.-area think tank last month published the results of a series of wargames – played by retired US generals, Navy officers, and Pentagon officials – simulating a potential Chinese invasion of Taiwan.
• Their conclusion? The US and Taiwan successfully defended the island nation against China, per a majority of the simulations, but with “enormous” losses sustained on both sides.

📊 Flash poll: Do you think the US will be in a physical war against China within the next 10 years?

Yes

No

Unsure/other

🇨🇦🇭🇹 The Canadian government agreed to send military aircraft to patrol the airspace above Haiti. Haitian authorities requested military support from Canada – a close ally and the only other French-speaking nation in the Americas – in order to help "disrupt the activities of gangs." Haiti was thrown into crisis following the July 2021 assassination of its president, with gangs violently assuming control of major infrastructure like roads, water, electricity, and even bus services. The country’s military was recently reestablished after disbanding in 1995, but it only contains ~500 soldiers. As of last month, every democratic institution in Haiti was no longer functioning.

🇷🇺 Russia is building a factory to make thousands of Iranian-designed drones for the Ukraine war, per the WSJ. Iran has already provided Moscow with hundreds of drones – most of them so-called ‘suicide drones’ – that were used to hit military and civilian targets in Ukraine over the past several months. Now, leaders from the two nations have agreed to build a joint drone-production line in Yelabuga, Russia, that can produce at least 6,000 drones in the coming years, multiple officials from a US-aligned country told the Journal.

🇮🇷 Iran’s supreme leader pardoned tens of thousands of prisoners, including many linked to ongoing anti-government protests, per state media. Though the mass amnesty doesn’t apply to those charged with serious offenses like espionage, murder, causing intentional injuries, vandalism, or arson, as well as those "affiliated with groups hostile to the Islamic Republic." In response, several human rights groups said Iran’s move was “propaganda” or a “PR stunt,” and called for the release of all ~20,000 protesters currently being detained.

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And not only is he still standing – he’s thriving. According to a recent Billboard report, Elton John’s ongoing Farewell Yellow Brick Road Tour has become the highest-grossing concert tour of all time, with ~$818 million in total ticket sales.

Here’s how it stacks up to the previous top three:

• Ed Sheeran’s Divide Tour: $776.4 million (2017-2019)
• U2’s U2 360º Tour: $736.4 million (2009-2011)
• Guns N’ Roses’ Not In This Lifetime… Tour: $584.2 million (2016-2019)

✋ Yes, but… After adjusting for inflation, John’s Farewell Yellow Brick Road Tour actually comes in third place, behind Sheeran and U2. Though when the dust finally settles, there’s a solid chance he still comes out on top.

John is playing 51 more shows in Europe before the tour concludes, and rakes in an average of $2.94 million per show. Which equates to an extra ~$150 million in revenue – or more than enough to close the ~$69 million inflation-adjusted gap between #3 and #1.

🎤 Big picture: Though if we’re talking career numbers, Elton isn’t coming for that #1 spot – he’s currently holding it. John is the highest-grossing solo artist in the Pollstar era (since 1980), with ~$1.8 billion in career ticket sales.

+Trivia: Madonna and Celine Dion, each at ~$1.4 billion in career ticket sales, round out the top three highest-grossing solo artists. But two bands have made more than any of the three solo artists mentioned above – know who they are? (Answer here.)

💬 Quoted…​​ “Possible runway incursion and overflight."

The FAA is investigating an incident at Texas’ Austin-Bergstrom International Airport on Saturday, where a FedEx cargo plane and Southwest passenger jet came within 1,000 feet of colliding.

• This comes less than a month after two similar incidents occurred at JFK International Airport in NYC, both of which are also under FAA investigation. (Bonus: Facts about midair collisions.)

🥶 Number of the Day: Minus 108°F = the wind chill at the summit of New Hampshire's Mount Washington on Friday, marking what meteorologists and climate scientists say is probably the lowest recorded temperature in US history.

🤯 Did You Know?... When Californians wanted to name a city after local businessman William Ralston in 1870, he declined and said he wasn’t worthy of the offer. So the townsfolk agreed to name the area Modesto, CA, in recognition of Ralston’s modesty.

📖 Worth a Read: There was another, more successful Cleopatra → (Aeon)

• ☝️ Lily the dog sits in front of a series of canine paintings from a traditional English country house that’ll be auctioned off by Christie’s this week; the middle painting, called “The wounded hound,” is expected to fetch over $300,000.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

• 📈 The US added 517,000 jobs last month, per the Department of Labor’s January jobs report published on Friday; economists had predicted an increase of 185,000 jobs; the US unemployment rate fell to 3.4%, its lowest level since 1969.
• 🚗⚡ The US Treasury updated its definition of an “SUV” last Friday, expanding the number of American-made EVs that qualify for the $7,500/per car federal tax credit.
• ⚖️ Elon Musk was found not liable by a jury for losses incurred by Tesla shareholders after he tweeted “funding secured” in 2018.

SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• 🍿📺 Knock at the Cabin opened to $14.2 million in ticket sales this past weekend, taking the top spot at the box office and ending Avatar 2’s seven-week reign at #1. | Amazon spent over $16.6 billion on content last year, up from $13.0 billion in 2021.
• 🎤🏆 The 2023 Grammys took place last night; Beyoncé won four to bring her career total to 32, a new record; Harry Styles won album of the year. (See a full list of the winners)
• 🏎️🏀 Ford is returning to Formula One via a new partnership with Red Bull Racing. | The Brooklyn Nets are trading Kyrie Irving to the Dallas Mavericks, ESPN reported yesterday.

SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

• 👃 Some Neanderthals developed a mutation so that they couldn’t smell their own stink, per new peer-reviewed research published in iScience.
• 🪐 🌕 Jupiter now has more moons than any other planet in our solar system after astronomers recently discovered 12 new lunar bodies; that brings Jupiter’s total to 92 moons, ahead of Saturn’s 83.

EVERYTHING ELSE

• 🎓🏫 Nine-year-old David Balogun recently received his high school diploma from a local Pennsylvania school; the wannabe astrophysicist is one of the youngest-known high school grads in US history. | New federal guidelines proposed on Friday would limit the amount of sugar allowed in school lunches for the first time.
• 🚨 A sixth Memphis police officer was fired on Friday in relation to his role in Tyre Nichols’ deadly beating last month.
• 🗳️📅 The Democratic National Committee officially approved a revised schedule for presidential primaries in 2024; the new format elevates South Carolina to the first primary and removes Iowa from the list of early contests.

CLICKBAIT

• 🤗 Yale University's most popular happiness course is now free for teenagers.

On Monday we covered the College Board’s revised curriculum for its new AP African American Studies course, which came nearly two weeks after Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) barred the course from being taught in public high schools statewide.

❓ Our question to you: How do you feel about the College Board’s new changes to its AP African American Studies course?

• 👍 Strongly agree: 17%
• 📈 Agree/Somewhat Agree: 17%
• 🤷 Neutral: 11%
• 📉 Disagree/Somewhat disagree: 21%
• 👎 Strongly disagree: 34%

Click here to read some of the best responses.

+Note on sample size: We received 9,836 votes and 679 longform responses.

Monday: Tickets go on sale for Beyoncé’s upcoming “Renaissance” world tour

Tuesday: President Biden delivers the annual State of the Union

Wednesday: National Kite Flying Day

Thursday: Southwest’s COO testifies before Congress over its recent holiday meltdown; National Pizza Day

Friday: The start of New York Fashion Week

+This weekend: Super Bowl LVII takes place on Sunday

Popular TV show Schoolhouse Rock! defined a generation of young learners, providing educational videos with catchy tunes like "I'm Just A Bill" and "Conjunction Junction." (Stuck in your head yet?😉)

🎉🎂 Happy birthday... ABC honored the classic show's 50th-anniversary, which occurred last week, with a special featuring some of the most beloved songs from the show – reimagined by current artists.

• Hosted by Ryan Seacrest, the special included appearances from the Black Eyed Peas, Raven-Symoné, Retta, and even Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear. (It's available to watch on Hulu, if you have an account.)

Can you guess the definitions of these Greek/Latin root words?

1. Curr
2. Deca
3. Hibern
4. Dur
5. Sum

(keep scrolling for the answers)

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1. Curr = Run (e.g., current, concurrent)
2. Deca = Ten (decathlon, decagram)
3. Hibern = Wintry (hibernation)
4. Dur = Hard (durable, endure)
5. Sum = Take (consume, assumption)