Good morning to the DUNKERS OF DONUT NATION!!!!

That’s right. The winners of our two “what do we call our readers” polls are out:

• Vote #1: The collective name: Donut Nation
• Vote #2: Our readers, as individuals: Dunkers

Congrats to Dirk V. and Renate O. for submitting “Donut Nation”; and Brandelynn H. for “Dunkers" – and the biggest congrats to all the Dunkers who participated. 

Well, not all. There is one big time loser: the DONUT writer who may or may not be the dude in the Lil Nuts video. After we told him that Lil Nuts came in dead last place, he started scream-laughing and saying “that’s a good one! Lil Nuts lost? Ha! Good one!” He then ordered an Uber to “the mayor’s house,” and we haven’t seen him since.

We’ll report back as soon as we get word from him, but until then…

THE NEWS!!!

🚀⏰ Ready, Set, Go: Today’s news takes 4.75 minutes to read.

"Honesty is the 1st chapter in the book of wisdom."

–Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

The EPA is widely expected to propose new emissions laws later today that would effectively force more than half of all new cars, SUVs, and pickup trucks sold in the US to be electric by the end of this decade.

⚡🚘 The specifics: The new guidelines would reportedly call for 54%–60% of all new US car sales to be EVs by 2030, then rise to 64%–67% by 2032.

But much like Barry Bonds’ home run record, these numbers come with an asterisk: WaPo notes the reported figures represent the most aggressive of several options, and that EPA officials said the most stringent rules may not be the final choice following a period of public comment and analysis over the next few months.

🗣️ Expected comments and analysis: Many proponents of the EPA’s new laws note the transportation sector is the largest source of greenhouse gas emissions in the US – the world’s second-biggest polluter behind China – and contend that rapidly phasing out gas-powered vehicles for electric models would lead to a dramatic cut in global emissions.

On the other hand, many critics argue the new regulations are far too aggressive, and that the US auto industry won’t be able to ramp up EV production from its current level in time to hit the new targets. 7.2% of all new vehicles sold in Q1 2023 were EVs.

• Some critics also note that mass EV adoption in America hinges on several factors beyond the control of automakers, including insufficient availability of charging stations, as well as a potential looming shortage of raw materials like lithium and nickel needed to produce EV batteries.

📊 Flash poll: How do you feel about the new EPA guidelines that would require at least half of all new vehicles sold in the US to be electric by 2030?

Strongly agree

Agree/Somewhat agree

Neutral

Disagree/Somewhat disagree

Strongly disagree

🇵🇭🇺🇸 The Philippines and US held their largest-ever joint military drills yesterday. The combat exercises, which included a combined 17,000 military personnel, also involved a live-fire ship-sinking for the first time. Although the drills were held in the South China Sea near Taiwan, and occurred right after the Chinese military held a three-day simulated invasion of the self-governing island, US and Filipino officials said the joint exercise should not be viewed as a response to recent developments surrounding Taiwan.

🇨🇳🤖 Chinese tech giant Alibaba announced plans to incorporate a new ChatGPT-style AI chatbot across its suite of products. The AI chatbot, called Tongyi Qianwen, is capable of working in English as well as Chinese. Alibaba said Tongyi Qianwen will be able to perform a number of different tasks such as writing emails, turning conversations into written notes, and drafting business proposals. Separately, China’s top internet regulator proposed a new law yesterday that would require domestic AI-makers to undergo gov’t assessments to ensure their products reflect the country’s “core socialist values,” and don’t encourage subversion of state power.

🇬🇧🤝🇮🇪 The UK and Ireland just celebrated the 25th anniversary of the Good Friday Agreement. The 1998 peace deal saw the Irish government relinquish its claim on Northern Ireland, and the UK government acknowledge that a majority of Ireland wanted a unified country. It brought an end to more than three decades of sectarian violence that was known as “The Troubles,” which saw more than 3,500 people killed in total (dive deeper).

🤔 "Mm-hmm, sure. So, what’s the catch?"

We know it may sound too good to be true. But it’s not only possible, it’s happening—and thousands of investors are smiling all the way to the bank, thanks to the fine-art investing platform Masterworks.

🍒🙅‍♀️ These results aren’t cherry-picking. This is the whole bushel. Masterworks has built a track record of 11 exits, the last 3 realizing +13.9%, +35.0%, and +10.4% net returns, even while financial markets plummeted.

🖼️🧐 But art? Really? Okay, skeptics, here are the numbers. Contemporary art prices:

• Outpaced the S&P 500 by 131% over the last 26 years
• Have the lowest correlation to equities of any asset class
• Remained stable through the dot-com bubble and ’08 crisis

Got your attention yet? Well, DONUT readers can skip the waitlist with this exclusive link.

👉 Skip the waitlist here.

*See important Reg A disclosures at masterworks.com/cd

If Substack’s new recommendations product, Notes, looks like Twitter, feels like Twitter, and allows users to post, share, and repost short-form content like Twitter – then is it, basically, Twitter?

Substack, which launched Notes to the public yesterday morning, would answer “no.” While the platforms may appear cosmetically similar, Substack’s Head of Communication explained, Twitter and Substack have fundamentally different business models that incentivize different behaviors.

• Twitter runs on ads, so it maximizes user engagement at all costs. Whatever posts get the most attention are prioritized.
• Substack Notes aims to focus on converting casual readers to paid subscribers of the writers on its platform. The idea is that content creators will be more driven to create content that respects the trust and attention of their readers.

Though Twitter’s actions last Friday make it seem as if the Elon Musk-owned platform doesn’t quite agree with its maybe/maybe-not competitor Substack‘s framing. About 48 hours after the beta launch of Notes was announced, Twitter restricted its users from retweeting or replying to tweets including Substack.com links (the decision looks to have been reversed as of Sunday).

📔 Zoom out: As it wades into the Notes waters, Substack certainly has the backing of its writers. The company launched a community fundraising round last month primarily for its own writers that, as of late last night, has raised over $7.6 million.

Hair from a 3,000-year-old burial site in Menorca, Spain, contains the oldest known evidence that humans in Europe took hallucinogenic drugs to get high, per a peer-reviewed study published last Thursday in Scientific Reports.

And if you’re wondering how we know this, it’s not a Hot Tub Time Machine-type situation – no one went back in time to attend a party. After analyzing locks of human hair found at the burial site, which had been dyed red as part of an unknown ritual, Spanish researchers detected three psychoactive substances: atropine, scopolamine, and ephedrine. All three drugs are naturally produced by plants growing on the small Mediterranean island of Menorca.

• The scientists say the fact that these substances could prove dangerous if ingested improperly shows early European humans possessed “highly specialized knowledge” regarding the use and side-effects of hallucinogenic drugs. Aka the people consuming them thousands of years ago seemed to know what they were doing.

🌎🪴 One interesting thing: Scopolamine and atropine can be found among plants in the nightshade family (genus Datura), which for centuries has been associated with witchcraft and sorcery in the Western world (especially in pre-Columbian South America).

For example: in the Indigenous Shuar communities of the Amazon Rainforest, children were often disciplined with a psychoactive juice called maikua – made from scopolamine-containing Brugmansia flowers – which caused the youngsters to fall into a trance wherein they would learn wisdom from their elders.

💬 Quoted… “Juice jacking.”

On Monday, the FBI warned Americans not to use free charging stations in places like airports, hotels, stadiums, or shopping centers since bad actors (aka “juice jackers”) have figured out ways to use the public USB chargers to upload malware to your devices.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Stat of the Day: 70% = the percentage of parents with kids 18 and older who are sacrificing their own finances to help out their children, per a new survey from Bankrate.

🤯 Did You Know?... While we hear about fossilization a lot, the phenomenon is actually incredibly rare. An estimated one bone in every billion ends up becoming a fossil, meaning the entire US population living today will leave behind ~68 fossilized bones in total (for context: the adult human body contains 206 bones).

📖 Worth a Read: A Brief History of the Mug Shot → (Smithsonian Magazine)

🤯 Did you know… Pets typically eat at an angle associated with indigestion/throwing up?

Raised feeders provide a better angle for digestion, meaning less strain on your furry pal’s joints – plus it promotes healthy posture! And if you want to improve your BFF’s mealtime/quality of life today, our friends at Katio Dogio have got you covered.

🏆 Voted 2022's Pet Innovation of the Year, the wall-mountable Kitty Kafe or Doggy Diner instantly upgrades your pet’s dining experience…

• Simple installation at any height
• Easy cleaning and dishwasher safe
• Made with food-grade materials, sustainable packaging, and backed by warranty👍

😸🐶 Katio Dogio is committed to improving the lives of all pets/animals, so 5% of your purchase will be donated to their animal rescue center partners!

Give your pet the dining experience they deserve with a Doggy Diner/Kitty Kafe.

• ☝️ A three-year-old Chihuahua named Pearl was recently named the world’s shortest living adult dog by the Guinness Book of World Records, measuring 3.59 inches tall; Pearl is descended from the previous record-holder, Miracle Milly.

BUSINESS & MARKETS

• 💰 US markets closed mixed yesterday (S&P: -0.004%; Dow: +0.3%; Nasdaq: -0.4%).
• 📉 The International Monetary Fund cut its global growth outlook to 2.8% for 2023.
• 🪙 Bitcoin topped $30,000 yesterday for the first time since last June; the world’s largest cryptocurrency has risen more than 80% so far this year.

SPORTS, MEDIA & ENTERTAINMENT

• 🦈🎧 Pinkfong, the South Korean studio behind “Baby Shark,” released eight new podcasts on Apple’s platform yesterday; three of the shows are in English and five are in Korean.
• 📺 Google launched Google TV, a new app with over 800 free, ad-supported channels, including content from Pluto TV, Tubi, Plex, and Haystack News.
• 🏀 The NBA Playoffs tipped off last night with play-in tournament matchups; Atlanta defeated Miami 116–105, while LA (Lakers) beat Minnesota 108–102 in OT.

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SCIENCE, SPACE & EMERGING TECH

• 🌼🌸🌷 California is currently experiencing a rare “superbloom” of wildflowers following months of heavy rain and snow.
• ☀️🌌 An ultraluminous X-ray source (ULX) in outer space is currently exuding about 10 million times more energy than the sun, which breaks a law of physics known as the Eddington limit, per a new peer-reviewed study from NASA.
• 🇨🇳🚀💥 China’s space agency announced plans to smash a spacecraft into a near-Earth asteroid in 2025 as part of a planetary defense test similar to NASA’s DART mission. (Background)

EVERYTHING ELSE

• 🏙️ Chicago has been selected to host the 2024 Democratic National Convention, party officials announced yesterday; Republicans decided last year that the party's 2024 convention will take place in Milwaukee.
• 💧 The Biden administration published an environmental analysis yesterday that proposes a plan with two options for how seven Western states can continue to share the dwindling water supply from the Colorado River. (Background)
• 📊 A new Morning Consult poll found former President Trump carries a 56% to 23% lead over Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis in a hypothetical GOP presidential primary matchup; the 33-point lead is Trump’s largest since Morning Consult started tracking sentiment in December.

CLICKBAIT

• 🦫 Be on the lookout for Rodents of Unusual Size with orange teeth.

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Keith Laughton and Martin Dowle have been best friends for more than 50 years. The 60-year-olds first met when they were eight, and formed an immediate bond. 

One day, when the pair was just ten years old, they squeezed into a photo booth and snapped a photo together⬆️. Little did they know, the friends had just started a tradition that would follow them for the rest of their lives. 

😄 Say "cheese"... Every five years since that day, Keith and Martin have met to recreate their classic photo-booth pic. 

• “It’s weird to look back at two ten-year-olds with sweet little innocent faces, and then look at the others and think about everything you go through in life together,” Keith said.

❓ Trivia: What does the acronym “MTV” stand for?

🧪 True or False?... Hydrochloric acid is known as the universal solvent.

🤔 Riddle Me This: I build up castles. I tear down mountains. I make some men blind, I help others see. What am I?

(keep scrolling for the answers)

👆 Check out the referral prizes you can get, just for introducing people you know to little old us. 

What to do: Copy your unique link below, then send it to anyone who you think would like the DONUT. Once you hit each milestone, you'll get an email with a link to claim your prize. (Pro tip: there's no need to ration points, you're entitled to a prize at each tier.)

Start referring.👇

❓ Trivia: Music Television

🧪 T/F: False, it's water

🤔 Riddle: Sand

**Banking services provided by MVB Bank, member FDIC; see Mana Checking Account Terms and Conditions for details. MVB Bank, Inc., does not issue rewards and such services are performed exclusively by Mana Interactive Inc.